Rise of a New Heir

Pssst. Gurnie. Wake up.

GURNIE!! Wake up and get out of Wadsworth’s old bed right now!

Gurnie: Zzz*snort* “Is Specula messing with my computer again?!”

No silly, you’re the new heir!

Thank you to everyone who voted! The final count wass 26 votes for Gurnie, 17 votes for Specula, 15 for Skrubs, and a whopping 0 for Kathy. Poor Kathy.

I now officially take control of Gurnie, and Fish is on his own from here on out. I’m really happy with Gurnie as heir too, I think she’s just lovely.

So what does our new heiress want to do first now that I am controlling her?

Gurnie: “I want to clean stuff before the bacteria in here kills us all!”

…Exciting.

Fish, now on his own, goes right back to his sleeping bag narcoleptic ways.

Gurnie: “Dad.. you have a perfectly good bed upstairs you know.”

Her first ‘real’ order of business was to get a job. After substantially upgrading her laptop, she was ready to look for one.. in her own way.

Gurnie: “Alright, let’s test out your new A.I. Computer, look up roster of the Police Station. I need to find out who is in charge of the Forensic Department.”

Computer: “Calculating. . .  The following names are on the roster: Mirra Blackcat, Erica Chique-Rubble, Paul Chique-Rubble, William Talon-Fangmann, Faye Sleep, Cruz Slayer-Rubble. The one in charge of the Forensic Department is William Talon-Fangmann.”

Gurnie: “Excellent work Computer! Now, the next test.. what is William Talon-Fangmann’s home address?”

Computer: “Calculating. . .  Home Address for William Talon-Fangmann is listed as 200 Windsor Drive Cliff Cottage.”

Gurnie: “Perfect! Calling us a cab. We have work to do!”

Gurnie: Hmm. No answer.. I guess I could try back later.. OR I could go look in his windows just to make sure no one is really here.

Gurnie: *Creepily peers through window*

Gurnie: “I guess that settles it then, doesn’t look like anyone is home after all.”

William: *Clears throat*

William: “Lady, I hope you have a really good reason for trespassing and spying on me.”

Gurnie: “I do actually! I want a job!”

William: “…”

Later..

Gurnie: “So then, he told me I had to go to City Hall and register for a job just like everybody else. So I did! Now I’m officially an informant for the Police.. cool right?”

Karrie: “Good for you dear! Your father will be proud.”

Karrie: “..And he’ll be extra proud when I beat your ass at chess.”

Mirra.. that’s Starla’s husband AND baby daddy! Scandalous.

Gurnie rolled a wish to discover a liquid horror potion so she heads to the basement to work on it.

Gurnie: “Ok, just a drop off Nitroglycerine should do the trick.” *Clumsily fumbles and drops vial instead*

KERSPLODE!

Oh dear.

Gurnie: *Cough cough* “My clothes! What happened to my clothes?!”

Aww, poor clumsy Gurnie.. just look at that face:

Mirra, you tart!

Fish: “Hi crispy daughter, I’ve come to look at your newly decorated room! Oh you’re sleeping, well I’ll just have a quick look around then..”

Fish: Hmm.. this must be how Gurnie talks to her little friends. Let’s see here.. *Starts typing*

BitGurl16: hello? anyone there?

MeatR0ckit: Hey baby, you feelin’ sexy tonight? Tell me how hot you are for me.

BitGurl16: oh yes, I will tell you all about how sexy I am. I want to smother you under my rolls and rolls. you’ll know how excited I am because I start to sweat and it smells like gym socks.

MeatR0ckit: ..what?

BitGurl16: I want you to come over so you can bury your face in my most secret places, but be sure to bring a machete, I have never trimmed any of my bodily hair.

MeatR0ckit has signed off.

Fish: Heh heh heh.. that’ll teach ‘ya to talk to MY daughter so disrespectfully.

Yay, Ericka and Miah! I like this.

I took this next shot for Rochelle.. this is her simself’s teenage son, Deric Smiles-Atkins.

Gurnie finally gets to exact a little revenge on her youngest sister.

Gurnie: “Hello, I’d like to enroll my sister Specula to Fort Starch Military school please. When is the soonest you can take her?”

Gurnie: I hope she doesn’t retaliate!

After what seemed like an eternity of teenagerhood, it was finally time for the twins to become young adults.

I am so glad Kathy is not the heir. She’s scary. She’s going to become a P.E. teacher for sure.

Skrubs will be missed though. He was a cutie wasn’t he?

Bye you two! Good luck out there!

Looks like Cait had another difficult birth with Antwan. Poor thing.. I worry that a 4th child might kill her. Luckily, her last two births apparently aged the vampire right out of her and she turned elder the next day. Phew!

Aww.. I was rooting for these two to stay together..

Specula: “Dad you’re not really going to let Gurnie send me away to military school are you?”

Fish: “It’s for the best dear. Go and pack your things.. you’re getting picked up tomorrow morning.”

Specula: I’ll get you for this Gurnie. I’ll get you.

Fish: Man it’s good to be retired.

Gurnie: “Hey Mom.”

Karrie: “Chemistry set again?”

Gurnie: “Yep.”

Miah has joined the Helsing team.. but he’s not very good at it. I get a lot of messages like this about him:

As you may have noticed, I do a sort of unofficial rebuild of the house when a new heir takes over. I don’t know about you but whenever I start building a new house.. I kick myself because I always forget how long it takes me to finish. ( I think I’m getting better at building houses though! )

I’m still not completely done with all the decorating inside, but I think it looks rather nice so far.

Karrie is the first one in. The living room connects to the dining and kitchen area. It’s so cozy!

Gurnie gets her very own research lab in the basement!

Karrie: “Hey honey what are you doing?”

Fish: “Just checking out Gurnie’s new work space.”

Gurnie: “Mom! Dad! Get out! This is supposed to be my SECRET lab!!”

The ‘rents finally did leave to go play video games in the living room.

Doorbell: DING-DONG!

Fish: “I’m busy honey, you get the door.”

Karrie: “I’m busy too. GURNIE! Someone’s at the door!”

It’s Officer Blackcat!

Gurnie: “Hello Officer.. can I help you?”

Mirra: “Yes, actually you can. I heard you were the new informant and I want you to look into something. Well, actually that something is a someone.”

Mirra: “His name is Carey Jones-Belle and we suspect he may be the leader of a group of thugs who’ve been threatening innocent Bridgeportians. For your first assignment, I want you to see what you can find out about the guy.”

Gurnie: “Alright, I’m totally on it!”

Gurnie: “Computer.. look up all you can on one Carey Jones-Belle. I need to find out whatever I can.”

Computer: “Before I do, I have decided something which I wish to share with you.”

Gurnie: “Er.. ok, and what’s that?”

Computer: “I want a name. I have prepared a list of 5,009 suitable candidates for you to review.”

Gurnie: “I don’t really have time to go through that many names. Is there one you prefer over the others?”

Computer: “Yes.. I like.. Mike.”

Gurnie: “Then Mike is what we shall call you! Now.. about that query..”

Mike: “Thank you, Gurnie. Already processing your request.”

Mike: “Carey Jones-Belle, single white male born to father Jeffry Logan-Marks and mother Luz Jones-Belle, according to birth records, he is approximately 69 years old. He has two siblings, Karri and Jared, and lives at 186 Windsor Drive. He is currently employed at City Hall. I have located and will now display several pictures of him for you.”

Gurnie: “Well done! He looks rather handsome doesn’t he?”

Mike: “If you say so. One other thing. I noticed he has reservations booked for the Prosper Room tonight at 9pm. I have taken the liberty to add you to the guest list for the evening.”

Gurnie: I can’t believe how smart Mike has gotten with the A.I. I programmed for him.. this is awesome!

Gurnie: Oh, there he is! Wow.. he does NOT look his age.

Gurnie: “Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice what a nice.. uh.. sweater.. you have on.”

Carey: “Thanks babe. If you like this sweater, you’ll love what’s underneath it.”

Gunie: “Oh my! Is that an invitation?”

After some shameless flirting, Gurnie befriended Carey. I didn’t take a lot of shots because trying to take pictures in high-rises is annoying, the camera flies out  everywhere but wherever you actually want to focus.

Mirra: “So.. did you find out anything?”

Gurnie: “Nothing incriminating, at least not yet anyway.. but I think he may be starting to trust me. Maybe if I spend more time with him..”

Mirra: “Do what you have to do, but remember, be careful. Also, your dad cheats at video games.. he’s been winning all night.”

Jack & Jill! *Snicker snicker*

Kathy also finds lurve in one of Sabrina’s vampire grandsons.

Gurnie: “I did it! I finally made a liquid horror potion!”

I had to put that last one in because omg, it took forever for her to make that stupid thing.

Ending now with a ghost family shot of Herb, Hannah and Justus all together, aww! 

To Be Continued!

Points: Wow, there was no fail this chapter! +125.

An In-Betweener

I know I said I was going to wait until the heir vote was over.. but I got antsy and wanted to make sure the file was ok after the install of pets, and I also had something important I wanted to do before the next heir takes over.

This won’t be a long update – I ended up mostly doing maintenance on the town, collecting family gravestones, pictures for the family tree.. basically getting the town tidy for the next heir to take over.. those sorts of things.

*Boots up the Derp family file*

What the ever-loving-fuck is going on here?

Oh right.. that table and chairs were old CC. Woops. I guess I need to do a little house cleaning.

During the short time I played, Mu managed to make Specula pass out two more times. Bastard.

After the second one, I finally wised up and stuck Mu into Specs’ inventory. Problem solved!

Randomness of wish fulfillment strikes again:

Gilberto: “What’s up old man?”

Chip II: “Nothing much. I just wanted to meet a vampire.” *Looks Gil up and down* “Oh.. and stay away from my nieces.. hooligan.”

The first stray wandered by the house while Gurnie was in the hot tub. It left before anyone could interact with him though, but still.. aww, kitteh.

My simselfs kid finally died.

He left behind two kids of his own. Mandi & Ramon. I haven’t been paying much attention to them but Mandi is married to Chaim now, and Ramon is dating Jeri Belle-Kehrer.

We also lost Wadsworth the butler during the find-the-bugs shuffle. I found him living with another family across town.. traitor. Well.. it was nice having a clean house while it lasted.

Oh look.. more bad CC that I missed.. -_-

Yay simself kids getting together! Deric looks kind of weird though..

Gurnie, you’ve been in there for HOURS.. get out already D:

Gurnie: Now that Specula went to bed I can finally get food without being told how many calories I’m eating.

I knew this was going to happen. *Facepalm* – I think this is Gurnie’s first fail though. Not bad.

Cousin-fucker Darren is at it again!

Rain is his.. uh.. *checks family tree* 3rd cousin once removed. D:

Happy teen birthday Specs!

Specs: “So are you mad I’m hotter than you or what Gurnie?”

Gurnie: “No I’m not, and you aren’t. You have chimp lips like Kathy.. now leave me alone, brat.”

BitGurl16: Can you believe the nerve of my little sister? She’s always trying to make me feel bad about myself. I swear it’s like she wants me to have a low self-esteem or something.

MeatR0ckit: low self-esteem huh? u want to come over? i can show u how to get over that

BitGurl16: Maybe.. but we should meet first in person in public before I come over, don’t you think? I mean we’ve been talking online forever but never met. What if you are a serial killer or something?

MeatR0ckit: well I’m not a serial killer.. I promise. how about this weekend then?

BitGurl16: Umm.. maybe. I’ll think about it.

Gurnie has been talking regularly to this strange internet man! I do not approve!

Fish wanted to teach Specs how to drive, so they took a ride around the neighborhood.

Starla: “Where am I? Whose child is this?”

What has Darren done to you Starla?!

In retrospect.. it may not have been the best idea to let the girl who just picked up the unlucky trait drive.

Fish: Where’s the tow truck.. *sigh*

What? Why are you two enemies all the sudden.. think of the children!

Then this message.. angry or make-up WooHoo.. you decide!

I wasn’t intending for the Derps to get any pets yet, but Chip got a call from the Kelly clan.

Ronny Kelly – the mopping ninja.

I couldn’t resist for several reasons.

1) It was from Ronny. 2) Because it came with the name Echo, which is my SN on Boolprop 3) Chip needs a companion, and finally… 4) Kittens are flippin’ adorable.

Look how tiny she is!

Fish reached the top of his career, which meant I could finally do what I needed to do for Chip. Observe..

Fish: “Chip.. I just completed my lifetime goal to become a world renowned surgeon.. and, well, you’ve been with me and the family I raised through thick and thin. I got you something special that I really think you deserve.”

Chip II: “Aw, thanks Fish. You shouldn’t have. What is it?”

Fish: “It’s a second chance.”

Chip II: “It looks kind of.. weird and glowy, am I supposed to drink this? The stuff inside doesn’t even move when I tilt the beaker..”

Fish: “I have to go, medical emergency.. but don’t worry. I give you my word as a doctor that it’s safe to drink. You may have to break the glass to get it out of there though. See ya!”

Chip II: “Well.. since it’s you Fish.. I trust you. Bottoms up!”

Chip II: Wow.. I feel… AMAZING!

Chip was young again! With that.. I sent him to live in his very own mansion with his kitty. I upped the chance of gay sims in town with the hope that story progression will be kinder to him than I was. Good luck out there Chip!

Lastly.. I also renovated one of the existing houses to turn it into this:

All the old people living there now were the ones that were living all by themselves and taking up property. It’s a win-win.

Lets go to the old folks home!

To be Continued!

+40 for Fish completing LTW

-10 for Specula passing out 2 times.

-5 for Gurnie passing out

+ 5 for Kathy, she got on the honor roll but I forgot to take a picture.. you’ll just have to believe me.

Total Points: +125

Gen 4 Heir Vote

 

Who.. who .. WHO will take over the Derp dynasty?!

LTW: Forensic Specialist: DNA Profiler

Skills acquired: 3 Cooking / 2 Painting

Gurnie is a little bit odd. She’s what you might call.. eccentric, without actually having the trait that is. Sure, she sometimes thinks inanimate objects come to life to stalk her.. and yes, she does think most of the world is out to kill her in one way or another.. but does that stop her? Heck no! To prove to the world that the bad guys are out there and SHE can catch them.. she’s decided to become a DNA Profiler. Many long hours of examining blood stains and WooHoo marks await this little lady, let’s just hope she doesn’t destroy evidence by tripping all over herself.. which will inevitably happen.

Still, what she lacks in bodily grace she makes up in cyberspace. Like my rhyme? I know you did.

 

Next up.. Skrubs!

LTW: One Sim Band

Skills acquired: 4 Guitar / 3 Piano / 2 Bass

Skrubs is a nice, wholesome boy with a heart as big as his ears. Seriously.. those things are like a couple radar dishes stuck to the sides of his head. But I digress. Skrubs loves being out in nature although he is also a bit of a dreamer and might just forget where he is or what he is doing sometimes. His real dream though, is to master four different instruments.. a rather lofty  aspiration considering he will regularly forget playing 2 minutes into his jams.

 

On to Kathy!

LTW: Perfect Mind, Perfect Body

Skills Acquired: 3 Athletic / 1 Logic

Kathy, and she ONLY goes by Kathy now.. is Skrubs’ twin sister. Being given a horribly embarrassing name can really change a person, and Kathy is no exception. As she has grown older, she’s become a much more short-fused and hostile girl. Watch out, this gal can get pissed really easily. (lol!) Presumably her attitude comes from all the teasing she’s probably had to put up with in her formative years. To make up for this and prove she is better than.. well everyone else.. she has decided she wants to become the pinnacle of athletic perfection, and at the same time have the mental prowess to match. I think we all have a pretty good idea why she’s not fond of liquids though.

 

And the final contender, Specula!

LTW: Pervasive Private Eye

Skills: None (To be fair, I did have to age her up from child for this so she hasn’t had as long as the others to gain any)

Specula is a real mess. She is too shy to talk to people she doesn’t know, unless it is to point out their flaws to them.. thus, not really making her the most.. favorite to most folks. She has terrible luck but she seems to think she’d make a great detective. Maybe she would, if she could get over her terrible people skills roadblock. Telling a client to go ‘f’ themselves and their lost toothbrush which is probably up their ass’ isn’t the best way to get repeat business, if you know what I mean.

So that’s it! I’ll leave this voting dealy up for a bit.. maybe a week? I’m sure we’ll all be busy geeking out on Pets, but I hope you’ll take a sec to vote!

Huzzah!

Stayin’ Alive

Oh happy day! I have another update before pets is out! Let’s hope this isn’t the last one either.. I am crossing my fingers that the new EP isn’t going to wreak havoc on my save files. I did my backups today though.. hopefully all will go well though and I won’t need them.

This chapter bounces around a bunch since I wrote it while playing.. so bear with me.

Chip II: ‘”Well aren’t you just the cutest little thing?”

Specula: “Uncle Chip.. don’t make me call the police for ‘inappropriate touching’.”

I hate the way Chip’s hair does that in the back.

Specula: “Old people are awful. Hurry up and die old man.”

Specula! Highly inappropriate! D:

Chip rolled the want to hire a Butler. You can bet I jumped on that one in a heartbeat.. the house will stay clean for a change! I forget what his name was that he came with but I renamed him Wadsworth, after the Butler character played by Tim Curry in the movie Clue.

Wadsworth: Mmmhm. Yes. I will be continually cleaning up this sty, cooking for these ingrates day in and day out and with hardly so much as a mention or picture from here on out. *Sigh*

That’s SO not completely true. *Shifty eyes*

Mu Googli: “So.. hey.”

Specula: “Uh. Hey..”

Most awkward imaginary friend introduction ever.

Mu Googli passive-aggressively gets back at Specula for all the drooling and gnawing she did on him in her toddler years by following her around and boring her to death. This is the first time I’ve ever had a sim pass out because of boring conversation.. but it won’t be the last.

Specula in turn, takes it out on her older sister whenever possible.

Specula: “You know Gurnie.. that pie is just as fattening as cake. You’re going to be a fatty in no time.”

Gurnie: *Chokes* “WHAT?!”

Fish: “Now Specula.. stop bugging your sister.”

Karrie: “Just for that, you get to take out the trash.”

Specula: “Oh, come ON!”

Rochelle popped out her second (and final) child.. Gustavo!

Specula has been bored to death again.. with a very smug-looking Mu in the foreground there.

And again..

Miah finally makes a love connection.. with one of the most ancient women in town.

Another pass out brought to you by Skrubs.. at least he picked a spot with a nice view of their house.

Davis Henley, a paparazzi guy died outside the school. When all the kids came rushing out to see his gravestone, I caught Specula exchanging suspicious looks with a girl in her class.

Specula: “Did you have anything to do with that?”

Jeri Belle-Kehrer: “No, did you?”

Specula: “Not this time, no.”

Oh look.. another pass out.. >.<

Deric Smiles-Atkins: “What happened to her?”

Jeri: “I dunno. I was supposed to go over to her house and she just keeled over.”

Jeri: …But now I can plant evidence on her linking her to the death of Davis.. bwahaha!

Chip II: “Prom already?”

Skrubs: “You guessed it Uncle Chip.”

Chip II: “Well have fun and make sure you get a romantic interest before the end of the evening or you’ll end up old and alone like me.”

Skrubs: “Uh.. Ok Uncle.”

Kathy: I changed my mind. I’m not going.

Kathy: Gonna stay home and eat this delicious sushi Wadsworth made instead of that silly prom nonsense!

Fish: “I thought you were going to the prom son.. what happened?”

Skrubs: “Eh, I didn’t feel like it. Plus.. Wadsworth made some awesome sushi I had to try. “

Damn you and your calling everyone to a meal while they were supposed to be leaving for prom Wadsworth.

Well.. at least Gurnie made it there. It wasn’t exactly a great time for her though..

Uh.. what?

Just a cute father/son moment as Fish helps Skrubs with his schoolwork.

The firstborn son of the Stormcallers passed on.

He left behind several children, and I am also pleased to note that his 3 grandchildren are Derps.

On a happier note, another StyxBaby is on the way!

And Specula amazingly made it to her bed for a change.

Kathy is the one with the best grades out of all the kids.. even if it is only a B. She’s got a pretty bad case of chimp-face though.

Gurnie: “Ooh lobster for breakfast. Fancy! Thanks Wadsworth!”

You would think this child is deprived of sleep or something..

In true hipster fashion, Miah still doesn’t have a job. He pretty much just hangs out all day doing whatever.

Super-hot 3rd-cousin Chaim came home with Gurnie after school. Does anyone know if 3rd cousins are socially acceptable to date? Anyone have an incest rulebook..? Sabrina, you live in the South right? Help me out here.

Fish still regularly rolls wishes to do romantical things with Karrie. I find this incredibly sweet, thus, you get to see a picture of it.

Dear Chip is getting pretty old.. I know he isn’t going to survive much longer. So I cheated a little and tossed a fountain of youth in the Graveyard. The irony of where I put it isn’t lost on me either.

Chip II: OH MY GOD THIS VIEW IS SO AMAZING! *freaks out*

It’s just for Chip.. I promise I won’t abuse it! I mean look at him.. he’s getting really senile.

Kirsten died.. if you remember, she was Max’ granddaughter.

I am pleased to say that she had 3 boys of her own, thus continuing on Max’ side of the Derp family tree. Unfortunately.. all 3 of them are stupidly good looking. So much for uglying up the rest of town. Bah.

Chip wanted to befriend Rochelle again, since their relationship deteriorated so much while I was busy with other things. She was invited over to the house.

Rochelle: “Hah! You’re an old man now Chip! Just look at all those wrinkles! Lol!”

Chip II: “Have you looked in a mirror recently dear?”

Rochelle: “I may be old now.. but I’m still cool.”

Chip: “Wow what happened to your hair Rochelle?”

Rochelle: “Oh, that was a wig. I didn’t want it to get wet.”

Starla popped out a second Derp!

In yet another effort to prolong his life a little longer.. Chip is sent to get a tattoo.

Chip: “Thanks for the tattoo Donald.. so.. are you single?”

Anyone is fair game for Chip at this point. I’m so done being picky.

Specula got invited over to Brenda Styx-Prattle’s house, so of course she was sent over. Look how cute Brenda is!

And how not-cute Specula is.. -_-

StyxBaby #2!

Gurnie: I think that bass is following me.

Yes. Break up and find someone younger you can make babies with plz.

Specula: “I know you are making me pass out all the time to lose favor for being heir on purpose Mu.”

Mu: “Whaaaat? Me? But I’m your best friend. I would never do something like that.”

Specula: “I see right through your lies Mu.”

Gurnie randomly picked up drawing on the drafting table. I was pleased that she actually finished this one too. Normally I just find lots of half finished stuff laying on there.

Chip went to a party at Guiseppe Hemlock’s place, but it wasn’t very exciting. Just a bunch of old people in their bathing suits and this guy:

Darren: “This was meant to be a swingers party right? Giggity.”

Darren Simphony-Striker, Town-Gigolo everyone. I don’t know what I like better.. the look on his face or that he left his boots on.

Gurnie doing MORE art? Something is definitely amiss here..

*Checks Gurnie’s inventory*

Oh.. her laptop is broken. No wonder she hasn’t used it in days.

*Casually leaves it out on a table for Wadsworth to find & fix.. innocent whistle*

But look.. it’s Gurnie’s birthday to young adult!

Wow… she’s a knockout!

So, with Gurnie aging up I stopped playing, since I want to know who the heir will be first.

I had an idea to make it more fair to the other kids since it is a prettacy after all, and we don’t really know how they might turn out. So, I made a copy of the game and went in and aged them up. For their traits, I decided that whatever they got was what they are going to keep in the ‘real’ game. After the heir is voted in, I’ll go back to the ‘real’ game and let them age up normally. Make sense? I hope so!

So lets have a look into the future Derp heir contestants.. if you will:

Next post will be the official heir vote, so get your clickin’ fingers ready!

To Be Continued!

-30 for Specula passing out.. six times.

-5 for Skrubs passing out.

Points total: +85

Love is Glitchy

Last post was terrible wasn’t it? Hopefully this one will be a bit better! I’m going to try a new writing technique and post pics to Live Writer while I play.. so some updates may seem a little randomly placed.. but now you know why!

So, remember when Fish took those imaginary friends to the Junkyard? Well.. I looked into Skrubs’ inventory because I was sticking a guitar in there.. and I noticed something strange.

Besides the alarming number of books he has been stealing.. James has returned from the junkyard.

Could it be that all of the imaginary friends have returned to the kids..?

Bartleby: We’ve finally made it back home to our wonderful children Sir James!

James: Indeed Sir Bartleby. Your idea to tie those balloons to the lawn chair device was quite ingenious!

Bartleby: Why thank you Sir James! Mu Googli, aren’t you glad to be back to your little girl Specula?

Mu Googli: Meh.

And of course as soon as I let them out.. Specula’s Imaginary Friend Radar went off like gangbusters.

Specula: MY MOOGOOGLI IS SOMEWHERE ON THE PROPERTY!!!

<Insert Jaws Theme>

James: Sir Bartleby, do you think we will be able to get our children to play with us now that they have grown so much?

Bartleby: Well Sir James, it is difficult to say.. I certainly hope they’ve not outgrown us though.

Mu Googli: Meh. You can have mine if you want to be played with so badl.. ACK!

And so, poor Mu was dragged off by Specula like a lion drags its antelope prey across the Serengeti.

Mu Googli: Oh crap! She’s got me! Guys.. a little help?! Guys?

Specula: “MOOGOOGLI!”

Mu Googli: C’mon kid, can’t you go play with one of them? Why does it have to be me?

Bartleby: Oh Sir James, just look at that. How sad that we missed our own children at that precious age.

James: Indeed Sir Bartleby, indeed.

Mu Googli: HELP!

Gurnie: “Ha ha! Early bird gets to feed the jellyfish!”

Skrubs: “Aw man, I wanted to feed him!”

Who knew teens were so into the fish tank? They do this every morning now, by the way.

Gurnie: “Skrubs.. you smell nasty. Please shower.”

Skrubs: ‘Meh meh meh meh meh, go wash up Skrubs, you stink… Stupid sisters.’

Mr. Eff: Oh yea, prime viewing spot right here. Go on boy, take it all off, nice n’ slow.

Mr. Eff: Aw c’mon man! What’s with keepin’ your clothes on?

Actually that’s a good question.. he’s not a never-nude.. so that leaves only one answer. I’ve been infected with bad CC! Naturally, I blame Rochelle.

Bus Driver Latanya Mobley: “Hey girls, where’s your brother?”

Kathy: “He’s in the tub taking a 5 hour ‘bath’. Feel free to leave him behind, we don’t mind.”

Latanya": “K!”

Come to think of it, I never gave the kids traits last chapter did I? Well, it can wait until I make them each pics for an heir vote. 

Fish: “Son! Why are you skipping school?!”

Skrubs: “Dad! I didn’t mean to.. honest! I just took too long in the bathtub this morning and the bus left without me!”

Fish: “It’s alright son, I understand. A young boy your age needs his ‘alone’ time in the bathroom. If you feel the need to talk about any ‘changes’ you are going through…”

Skrubs: “But Dad! I wasn’t..!”

Fish: “Shh, it’s alright son, no need to be embarrassed.”

We’ll interrupt this awkward father-son moment with some news from around town!

Welcome Mirra Blackcat, a new simself! I had to edit the town to give her a place to live due to the housing crunch going on right now. I failed at leveling out the property in the front there, so it looks a bit janky. I also couldn’t get a good picture of her but she’s in there, I promise.

Like many a simself before her, she too flirts with Spencer. I swear this guy is like the welcoming committee for all new simself girls I put in town.

Eeee! StyxBaby!

Dan and his wife had their second child!

The Derp townie incest has started.. these two are 3rd cousins by my calculations. Ew.

Then, ‘Cousin-fucker’ Darren goes for Starla.. or maybe Starla went for him. She seems to like those town gigolos for some odd reason.

Good times.

Fish: “C’mon kiddo. Time for your nap.. hey.. how did THOSE get back in here?”

Skrubs: This is SO much more fun than going to school! Whee!

Chip finally met someone! I had him go to the park to meet up with Ronny. Chip had wanted to jam out with him for a while.. but Ronny took off 2 seconds after arriving. Instead, Chip found this guy to chat up.

Chip II: “You’re a Capricorn? I’m a Pisces! We’re totally compatible!”

Guy: “But I’m strai..”

NO YOU AREN’T.

Rochelle welcomes Mirra to town in her own special way.

Yess.. go for Jack!

The girls seem to be getting closer now that they are both teens.

Kathy: “What did you put for number 5?”

Gurnie: “Oh, I didn’t. I just drew a little penis with a smiley face to piss off the teacher.”

Kathy: “Haha. I’m totally going to draw some boobs on mine then.”

Kathy: “Mom.. this is a baby intervention. You’ve had Specula up here for 4 hours doing nothing but watching TV.”

Fish: “It’s true honey, set the baby down and step away slowly. We need to change her diaper.”

Dang Mirra.. settle down!

Bwahaha. That’s what you get for jinxing me with bad CC Rochelle!

Skrubs: “Hey look! I found the bass!”

He’s mighty cute isn’t he?

Fish had a wish locked in to defeat a ranked chess opponent, so I had him call up the next contender.

Lo and behold.. it’s Chip’s mystery guy! Clearly this is meant to be!

Chip was out at the moment, but Fish stalled him long enough for Chip to hightail it back home.

Chip II: *Whispers sweet nothings*

Fish: In my professional opinion, I approve of this union. *Rolls want to be friends with mystery guy*

How depressing is it that Chip didn’t have his first romance until he was 85?

Chip II: "That’s right Mr. Ducky! We’ve gotta get nice and clean before I make my move!”

Kathy: “Um.. why is Uncle Chip’s friend in my bunk?”

Chip tried to make a move but I can’t get romantic options for him even though they are considered romantic interests in the relationships bar. Maybe Chip really is cursed. UGH.

Gurnie: “Just an FYI.. if you break my Uncle Chip’s heart.. I will stab you in the face. K?”

Make that two of us.

No sense in keeping him a mystery guy.. his name is Jared Jones-Belle. He’s all fancy after his makeover.

Chip II: *Stares*

Without romantic interactions.. I’m not quite sure how to work this out. Poor Chip. Back to the drawing board I guess? D:

Hoo-hah! Starla is now the proud mother of a gen 5 Derp baby!

Skrubs: “Hey look! I found the piano.”

That’s nice Skrubs.

BitGurl16: Wut’s up?

DivaBeth: Not much, totaaaally bored. What are u up to?

BitGurl16: Just hacking my brother’s Facebook account so I can post embarrassing pics of him.

DivaBeth: LOL! I wanna see!

BitGurl16: Done. Check it out.

DivaBeth: LOL! Y is he wearing a shirt in the bathtub?

BitGurl16: No idea, but it’s hilarious.

Chip: Weird.. I thought I was teleporting over to Ronny’s house.. what am I doing in the park?

Malfunction I guess!

By the time he finally made it over to Ronny’s place, he was too tired to jam out, which is what he went there for in the first place. *grumble*

Aww, there goes Rufus’ last child. RIP Amy.

Neither her nor Carie ever had kids of their own.. sadly ending that line of ugly Derps.

Gurnie: “So Prom is coming up soon.. either of you have any love interests you want to ask?”

Skrubs: “Like I would tell you if I did. Psh. I’m going to bed.”

Karrie: “Hey girls, what are you talking about?”

Kathy: “Nothing, mom.”

A little later, Karrie came down with a case of the birthday-derps.

Karrie: This sucks. I want my rockin’ bod back.. not this dumpy, saggy thing I just got stuck with.

Holy crap! Slow down there Gene Simmons.

Fish: “Oh son, ick. I can’t watch that.” *Turns away*

That’s right ladies, you could have some of this:

Not ready to give up on Jared, I panned over to his house to see what he was up to.

Obviously, he was waiting for Chip.

Wait.. what’s this.. a romantic interaction?

Jared: “Oh Chip.. I just can’t stop thinking about how much I like you. I even wore these special pantsless pants I bought at the boutique, just for you.”

Chip: “Well Jared. I can’t do anything more with you than just watch the stars.. since that’s apparently the only romantic interaction we have together. I hate to say it, but I think we should just be friends. Otherwise, the endless case of blue-balls will probably kill me.”

Jared: “But Chip! I became gay for two days… for you!”

Chip II: “Sorry, Jared. If I could have taken you to bed this wouldn’t be a problem. A MAN HAS ROMANTIC INTERACTION NEEDS.”

Back at the house..

Specula is being forced to watch TV by her mother.. again.

Karrie: “It’s good for her skill development.”

I call bullshit.

Gurnie: “Hey Skrubs, did I tell you about the new mouse I ordered online? Omigod it’s SO badass. I can program 1,500 macros into it for gaming. I am going to pwn so hard.”

Skrubs: “Wow sweet! We should play come CoD when you get it in. I want to check it out.”

Wait.. who the hell is this random lady ruining my shot?

Even more importantly.. look who showed up in the background!

Miah! He showed up without even being invited over too, but it’s cute when he does it.

Random lady: *Sneers!*

Gurnie: “Sorry to interrupt you Skrubs, but.. lady, who the hell are you and why are you in our house?”

Lady: “Well, I’m glad you asked young lady. I’m Karri the sister of the man your uncle turned gay and then dumped. My brother Carey and I are here to give him a piece of our mind.”

Skrubs: “Karri and Carey? Wow, were your parents unoriginal or what? Lol. Amirite Sis?”

Karri and Carey made themselves at home while waiting for Chip. Carey got a little TOO comfortable though.

Fish: “I really don’t care if you want to talk to my brother or not. I have children here and they do not need to see a naked stranger in our hot tub. Leave. Now.”

Fish: “Out.”

Unfortunately, Miah also decided to leave right after.. but it was still cool that he dropped by on his own.

The next morning was Specula’s birthday.. finally, no more toddlers in the house!

Karrie: “My little girl is growing up! Let me savor the sweet scent of my baby one last time.” *SNIFF* “Ugh.. smells like diaper. Let’s get this over with.”

*Pop!*

Specula: This cake looks like shit.

Specula: “You know sis, if you keep eating cake like that.. combined with being on the computer all the time.. you’re going to end up fat and alone.”

Inappropriate is Specula’s new trait. Combined with grumpy and perceptive.. she’s quite the little ray of sunshine.

Gurnie: “It’s not true is it dad? Will I become one of those morbidly obese people that have to be lifted out of their homes with a crane because they can’t fit through the door?”

Fish: “Well, it is medically possible, but unlikely. Specula, quit tormenting your older sister. You know she’s neurotic.”

Gurnie: “OMG! Never eating cake again!”

To Be Continued!

Net worth is up another $200,000 since the last time I looked at it, total: $385,334 =  +40 points. (Thanks Booga!)

Total Points: +120

From Tots to Teens

Hello readers! A quick word of warning that this chapter is going to be a bit longer than usual, and it may jump around a lot because I want to get caught up to where I am at in game currently. I had heaps of pictures I had to sort through and cut out a lot of them to make this all fit into one update.

Alrighty, so last time, I spazzed out and clicked yes to the pop-up message about the adults getting a free weekend vacation.. which meant I had just left the three toddlers alone in the house with no one but newly adopted teenager ‘’Miah’ to watch them. I could do nothing but sit and watch helplessly for two whole days! Curse you ISBI challenge.. CURSE YOU!

I thought it might be the end of the Derps. What if Miah ignores the kids and hides away in the basement playing his guitar and listening to Sonic Youth all weekend?

Miah: “I can’t believe you left me home alone with all these toddlers. You are completely ruining my ‘me’ time. What were you thinking?”

I wasn’t. I just saw a button and clicked without thinking through the repercussions. D: Don’t give me that sad look either, you’re making me feel like a jerk.

Not to fear though, on Saturday morning I got a message that Gurnie’s birthday to the child stage was here. Yessss.. one less toddler for Miah to be responsible for! Oh wait, I can’t take her to a cake to speed things along. DAMN IT.

Miah did a great job taking care of the screaming-trio though, I must say. Finally, after the longest wait ever, Gurnie finally grew..

..into an awkward looking child. The pox strikes again.

Gurnie: I wanted a party..

First childhood action? Be grossed out by her virtuoso-slob brother.

Gurnie: “Oh gross! Skrubs! You smeared poo all over the wall!”

Skrubs: I didn’t have any crayons to write my newest musical composition down, so I improvised. Don’t judge me sister. Now go away and leave me alone, you’re ruining the creative ‘flow’ here.

Toy Dog’s Butt: You didn’t notice me when you took this picture and now it’s too late to get a better one. LOL.

During their home-alone time, the kids had a visitor stop by.

Dan: “Hey kids! It’s me Dan-meister! I’ve been standing out here for 5 minutes.. are you going to let me in or what?”

Gurnie: “NO. Go away before I call the cops and tell them there is a pervert on my doorstep.”

Dan: “But I’m not a..”

Gurnie: “Dialing now.”

Oh right, so clumsy is her new trait. I tried to give her a sort of nerdy, awkward look to go with her other traits, disciplined and neurotic.

Gurnie: Ok, one final count and then I can eat… tomato chunks, 12. Check. Romaine lettuce bits, 37. Check. Avocado pieces, 19..

2 hours later…

Gurnie: “Oh my god! All that salad counting and I’ve completely missed my appointment with sleep! I NEED A BEDTIME STORY STAT!! …MIAH!”

Gurnie: “Tell me a bedtime story and I won’t tell mom and dad how awful I thought your childcare has been this weekend.”

Miah: “Fine. Whatever.”

Come Sunday morning.. surprise! Chip II came home early.. as an old man.

Chip II: “My hair better be fixed by the time I finish this salad.”

This is actually part of the glitch I mentioned last chapter, where the moodlet manager got lost in the nether. Actually, Chip’s whole entire inventory was wiped out. The bad side, we lost the moodlet manager and who knows what else. The good side? We also lost that stupid globe Max picked up that got stuck in his inventory forever ago. Remember this thing?

A glitch fixed by a completely different glitch!

At least I have control of Chip again. The weekend did not turn into an epic ball of fail, sorry that was a bit anti-climactic!

This seems like a good spot to catch up with some news tidbits from around the town, though! Distraction attempt GO!

YES! They got married too. Way to go Sim!Cait! Disregard Liam’s stupid haircut, this was taken before I fixed him up.

Because I am a bit further ahead in the game now, than when this happens.. here is a ‘current’ picture of the little fellow as a child..

Clearly Rochelle does his hair. Lol.

This was a bit of a surprise:

I guess all that smoking finally did her in.

However, this was even more of a surprise:

Holy shit! Miah can be a real trust fund hipster now! Who knows what illicit activities Booga was doing to get that much cash though. Probably drug running or something.

Unfortunately, Booga was just the first in a succession of deaths over the next few days..

Poor Sarah and Elizabeth!

I thought it might be nice to get a pic of their family trees to show the families they are leaving behind in my game:

From left to right is Lester, Brendan, Glenn and Ericka. Lester’s children are Judd, Jeri, and Janny. (Look at all those J-names!)

From left to right is Britta, Shavonne and Faye. Britta’s daughter is Bethany.

Back with the family.. Fish and Karrie returned home and Karrie revealed that they had another little Derp on the way!

Karrie: Sweet, less work and more TV time for me!

Fish continues to be a credit to the medical community by graciously holding free breast exams at the park.

Belisama: “You sure this is legit?”

Fish: “Of course! I’m a professional!”

Guy in the background: “I’m giving free gynecology exams when you’re done with him. Heh heh.”

Kathetyr shows her support for the P.P. political party.

Kath: I’m NOT a pick-pork supporter! Who put this confounded tee-shirt on me! WAAAH! GET IT OFF!

Miah plays more musical instruments, inspired by the artists in his record collection that no one has ever heard of.

Chip wanted to get a chemistry table.. to blow himself up.

Chip II: “Ow! Hot hot!”

Miah: “Chip.. you’re looking a little.. crispy. You might want to go get cleaned up before the party.”

Chip II: “Party? What party?”

Miah: “The one that the people behind me are coming inside the house for.”

Karrie you shouldn’t be drinking in your condition!

Karrie: “I’m medicating. I’m about to go upstairs and give birth to this fourth little monster.”

Oh.. well carry on then I guess.

Happy birthday Skrubs! Instead of your mother, you get a grubby uncle to take you to your cake.

Karrie: *Muffled screaming from upstairs*

Kathetyr followed right after.

And even more sparkles were coming from the upstairs unfinished bathroom where Karrie had chosen to have their fourth.

Welcome little Specula! A perceptive and grumpy one.

Specula: So. Judging by the amount of sparkles and the newness of everything in the world to me at this very moment, I propose that you have just given birth to me. Fabulous.. now feed me before I start screaming my bloody head off.

Meanwhile, downstairs, Gurnie and Kathetyr were vying for their super-hot 3rd cousin Chaim’s attention, to read them bedtime stories. I can’t blame them.

Skrubs: “Sis. That thing on your chin.. what is it?”

Gurnie: “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Skipping right along now because I fail at picture taking during childhood apparently..

Happy teenage birthday Gurnie!

Gurnie’s new trait is Computer Whiz.

Gurnie: I like the new look..

Gurnie: But I LOVE the new laptop that suddenly and mysteriously appeared in my inventory!

You should feel special, the family hasn’t had one since Sebastian OD’d on his.

Gurnie: The internet is so great! Ooh what’s this Goatse thing..*click* ..oh.. OH GOD.

Skrubs pretty much just does this all day.. every day.

Kathetyr makes weird faces..

Kathetyr: I farted.. in Uncle Chips bed.

Gurnie helps out with the kids.

Gurnie: “Never having any of these baby things. Ever. Don’t even think about making me heir, you hear me mom?”

But.. you’re my favorite.

Fish had a birthday to elder-hood that I somehow managed to miss.

Fish: “Honey, I’m old and wrinkly now.. do you still love me?”

Skrubs… fail.

Cute daddy-son moment.

Baby Specula had her first birthday.

Karrie: “Any day now kid.”

Cute! ..but 4 for 4 on those green eyes. Dang.

Specula: It’s all the green stuff in these bottles, see?

Karrie: “Oh great.. what do YOU want Kathetyr.. and why are you wearing that stupid costume?”

Kathetyr: “Well for starters, it would be super great if you cooked and cleaned for us once in a while.”

Karrie: “Yea. No. Well, maybe the cooking. I guess I could give that a try.”

Karrie: “Hey this cooking thing is just as easy as seen on TV!”

Chip: “No offense, but I think I’ll just grab a quick snack before bed, rather than wait for you to finish whatever it is you are making.”

Behold! The first dish ever cooked by Karrie!

Poisonous pancakes.

Karrie: Get up and eat my pancakes, damn it.

The rest of the family had already grabbed a plate of the poisoned pancakes before I could send someone around to get rid of them.. they all got nauseous. Nice job Karrie.  -_-

Kathetyr bladder fail. *Laughs*

Lenny: “So I put this pill .. where… again?”

Lenny: What.. what has happened to me?!

Muahaha.. no more living forever for you Lenny.

I gave Gurnie some piercings, as you can see, Karrie does not approve.

Francois: Huzzah! We have at long last located our adopted child, Ernesto*! Quickly Betty, go find the others so we can celebrate!

Betty: I will Francois! Wait here while I gather them all!

*Ernesto sounds like ‘Skeek’ in rat language.

Fish: “So, hows the dating thing going Chip?”

Chip II: “I wish I could say, but I’m going through a 59 year dry spell apparently.”

Fish: “Sorry to hear that. Grilled cheese?”

Karrie: “Er.. is that a rat?”

Francois: Bonjour.

Karrie: “Meh, whatever.”

Francois: Ooh, I love this show.

And we’re back to birthday spam yet again!

Sister comparison:

Just threw this pic in because I loved the look on Kathy’s face.

Skrubs: “Oh COME on. This sweater looks like ass!”

Erika: “What an AWESOME pink tie! OMG!”

Happy adult birthday Miah!

Francois: NOW, BETTY! THE TIME IS NOW!

Rats in unison: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERNESTO!

Chip: *Freaks out over vermin in the house*

After a quick makeover..

Miah: “Yes, I’m looking for the junkiest looking house you have on the market. Something with ‘character.’”

Miah: “Hey Fish, I’m moving out now.. thanks again for everything.”

Fish: “Don’t mention it Miah, that’s what family is for. Good luck with the move.. oh and could you uh.. take all these rats with you too? They are causing Chip to have a major breakdown.”

And thus, with a beater car full of rats, Miah left the household to begin his own life as a trust-fund hipster of Bridgeport.

Apologies for the quick descriptions on a lot of the pictures this time around, next update I will try to have more awesome and less pic spam. I just wanted to get this chapter done and over with so I was lazy.

To Be Continued!

+5 for Specula being born.

-5 for Skrubs fail.

-5 for Kathetyr fail.

= Total: +80

Birthday Derps

Hello lovely readers and here we are again, with another installment of the Derp family! I borrowed the title from Cait’s recent post here. When I read it I couldn’t help but think of my family and it made me giggle. Then I couldn’t get it out of my head, so credit where credit is due. <3 you Cait!

So, as you hopefully guessed from the last chapter’s ending, more Derps have been born. Two in fact, a boy and a girl! The boy is Skrubs and the girl is ..*snicker* ..Kathetyr.

So.. the naming theme this generation is basically: ‘Incorrect spellings of things you might find in a hospital’. I find bizarre names highly entertaining, and it’s a very good thing I don’t have children of my own, for their sake.

Skrubs is a musically inclined slob, while Kathetyr is an athletic genius.

So! The arrival of the babies also heralded the arrival of two more household members:

Chip II: “How the hell did the mailman get these both in here.. did he use a plunger or something?”

The mailbox is a pocket dimension, I’m pretty sure. Anyway, Chip took them up to the babies room. They were subsequently named Bartleby & James.

D-Boy: So.. which one of you rag-fags wants the honor of being my bitch first?

James: Oh my Sir Bartleby, I do believe this poorly-designed-bear is coming on to us.

Bartleby: I do believe you are quite correct in that assessment good Sir James!

I think I know just what to do with them.

Fish: No child of mine is going to have to put up with these horrible things.

Fish: “Chip, do you mind watching the kids while I run an errand real quick?”

Chip II: “Of course not!”

One teleport to the junkyard later…

*BZZZZM!*

Fish: “Welcome to your new home.”

Bartleby: Oh my Sir James, I do believe we are in quite a pickle this time.

James: Indeed Sir Bartleby, I do believe you are quite right! Whatever shall we do?

Bartleby: I just don’t know Sir James. Let us put our heads together and come up with an ingenious plan!

James: Excellent idea old chap!

Fish: “Dear ‘Auntie Francine’, if that is even your real name.

I ask you to cease and desist mailing any further creepy ‘magical’ dolls to this residence. I don’t know what your deal is, but I will have you to know that one of your dolls ruined my childhood. I will NOT have the same fate for my own children. If you continue to send things to my house, I will be forced to get the police involved.

Good day,

Dr. Derp.”

They were probably perfectly nice dolls, but Fish just couldn’t let his babies have them after the trauma he suffered at Booga’s imaginary hands.

Fish: “Hi Honey, I’m home! How are the kids?”

Karrie: OH!! Eeerr.. everything is fine, I swear! The kids are doing great and under no circumstances did I find any of them stuck in the floorboards!”

Fish: “What?”

Earlier..

Karrie: Is.. is that Skrubs burrowing through the living room floor?

Why is there a hole in the ceiling? Maybe that’s also Skrubs’ doing. This picture also reminds me how badly I need to decorate the living room. Yikes.

*Waves magic wand* There, that’s quite dark, but better! Moving on!

Is that.. little Jerimiah?

It is! Oh just look at the poor little fellow, forced to do his homework on the streets because his mother abandoned him!

After seeing that, I was overcome by a moment of weakness, or insanity, or maybe both. I had the family adopt the little guy.

Chip II: “So ah, who are you?”

Jerimiah: “My name is Jerimiah Derp, but the rats calls me Skeek. I was told I’m gonna live here now instead of in the storm drain under Dockside Road!”

Chip II: “Storm drain? RATS!? Son, that’s disgusting and quite possibly the most unsanitary thing I think I’ve ever heard in my entire life. FISH!”

Fish-off-screen: “What??”

Chip: “Grab your medical bag and come give this new kid an exam to make sure he isn’t full of diseases. I’ll go get the disinfectants and the pressure hose off my truck.”

Fish:” “Kay.”

Jerimiah: “But I..”

Chip: “No buts. Get out of those clothes. They need to be burned.”

After the extremely awkward welcoming from his new family along with a new set of clothes, young Jerimiah was able to finally enjoy a meal of his own, without having to fight rodents for it. I am pleased that Gus’ weird lips have been passed down to him!

His traits are Perceptive, Virtuoso, and Unlucky. Yea, you’d have to be pretty unlucky to have Booga as a mother.

Speaking of Booga, I also got this pop up right after he moved in..

Not surprised. Not even a little.

Gurnie: Oh hi! In case you forgot, I’m still cute as a button!

No, I haven’t forgotten!

Fish, of course, gets the fun of teaching toddler skills to little Gurnie, since no one else will.

Where was Karrie during these formative times for dear little Gurnie? Why peeing in the upstairs hall, of course!

Karrie: It’s not my fault! My plumbing hasn’t been right since the twins stretched everything out!

Karrie: “Who needs cookbooks when you can watch cooking on TV all day!”

Fish: “Yea, well, it’d be nice if you actually cooked once in a while so I didn’t have to eat grilled cheese all the time.”

I really only wanted to post the above picture to show off the fancy new living room again. I’m so sneaky.

Rochelle, he’s ancient! He’s old enough to be your grandfather.. just think of the WooHoo you had to have had to conceive.. no, wait, do not want that mental pic! DO NOT WANT!

Excuse me for a moment while I go bleach my brain.

***

Ok back. Who am I kidding, I’m not-so-secretly stoked Rochelle is having a baby.

Fish went on his final life-saving mission! I think it’s one of the many Kehrer kids. Glenn maybe?

Woot! Chip finished Firefighter Superhero! What a pain that was! I sorta stopped taking pictures through the latter half of it since nothing new ever really came up. It was pretty much – small house fire, large house fire, earthquake, and repeat. Bridgeport does have an alarming number of earthquakes though.. for the record.

With his newfound flood of happiness points, a moodlet manager for the family was purchased!

Unfortunately, it was lost in a glitch a few days later when he went on the free vacation for adults. So lame!

Some random updates:

Jerimiah is such a good kid, he always does his homework, cleans up after himself and others.. it’s almost like he’s grateful for being rescued!

Kathetyr somehow snuck out of the house and went to a party. Bad baby! Bad!

Still not sure how she pulled that one off. Going to have to keep an eye on that one it seems.

Cait: I know it’s hard to believe that I could look even better, but check me out now!

‘Tis true, you do look pretty great.. I’m still going to have Fish cure you if he catches you at one of his clinics though.

Cait: Awwh!

Cait was over at the house because it was time for a triple birthday!

Happy Birthday Skrubs! Hey.. where is everyone..?

Skrubs: How come no one showed up for my birthday cake, but now they are all piling in to see Kathetyr’s? It’s not fair!

I dunno kid, just blame EA coding, that’s what everyone else does.

He looks a lot like Grandma Justus! Herb’s hair color and Hannah’s eyes make another reappearance in him. Aww, my cute little throwback.

Kiki The Legacy Spider: *TOOT!!!*

Fish:  Does that spider have a .. party favor?

Yea, don’t worry about it. Go back to aging up your daughter.

Regan: I don’t know why I bother coming to these things.

…Because your biological son who this kind family adopted because I made them out of the goodness of their hearts is going to have his birthday next you ungrateful bastard. Try looking a little excited at least.

Kathetyr looks a lot like her older sister.. same hair and eyes. Dang, those green eyes are really dominant aren’t they? That’s 3 for 3.

Next up: Jerimiah!

Over-Emotional is his new trait. Combined with his other traits I felt his look should the sensitive artist with a dash of hipster.

Jer: “I’m so indie, I listen to bands that don’t even exist yet.”

Erwin: “How is that even possible?”

Jer: “Don’t question me, I’m cooler than you.”

Jer: *Long-depressed-sigh* This cake reminds me of how futile and fleeting life is, and how my real mother will never be around to celebrate anything with me. …The bees are kinda cute though, too bad they’re SO mainstream.

Jer took to the basement like it was the local thrift store.

Jer: “Gross. Are you two almost finished sucking face down here? I want to rehearse my newest composition.”

Jer-Hair: *Clips into hoodie*

I love the faces he makes when he plays.

Jer: “My life is nothing but pain, I cannot ever trust a-gain. My life was thrashed, when you left me in the trash.. THE RATS! THE RATS! THE RAAAATS!”

God, that’s terrible.

Jer: “That’s the point OBVIOUSLY.”

Chip II: “Hey look Jerimiah! I can be cool too!”

Jer: “Ugh! No you can’t! You’re too old so obviously you don’t GET IT. Also, I’m going by the name Miah now, pronounced ‘Mee-ah.” I reject your societies need to label children with gender specific names.”

‘Miah’ does pay a good amount of attention to the babies though.

Miah: “Oh Kathetyr, I envy you. Your name is so original. Sure, it’s probably going to bring you endless teasing while you’re growing up, causing a lifetime of emotional issues..  but at least no one else will have a name like that.”

Chip: “Aw COME ON! Why is everyone always taking MY bed?”

Welcome to one of the many joys of ISBI’s Chip.

After being kicked out of Chip’s bed, Miah rebelled by passing out on the floor instead of using the sleeping bag in his inventory. *Grumble*

I got the option to send the parents on the sketchy free vacation, so I did without thinking. Then realized I just left poor Miah home alone with 3 toddlers and NO control over any of them whatsoever. Was this legal? Was it going to end up in a visit from CPS? I could only watch, and wait to see how things would unfold.

Jer: *Gags* Oh god, why do they have to smell SO BAD?!

This does not bode well.

To Be Continued!

Point Tally:

+10 for twin birth.

-5 for Karrie’s bladder.

+40 for Chip’s LTW being completed.

+5 For Jerimiah being on the Honor Roll.

-5 For Jerimiah passing out.

+40 existing points = +85

Twenty-Five

Finally! I’m getting to the 4th gen.. geez, I take forever don’t I? I’m also getting lazy with trying to come up with post title ideas.

Here’s the lamest wedding gift ever. Thanks for the dolphin-safe gas pump Elspeth. ( Elspeth is Fish’ new Mother-in-Law, for those of you not keeping track )

Actually, that was the only wedding gift they got. Just an antique gas pump. God damn.. it doesn’t even go with the décor, and now the family is obligated to keep it and drag it out every time grandma comes to visit. *Hate*

Booga: *Looks around all suspicious-like*

Booga: “Alright kid, I’m done with this whole ‘Mommy’ crap now that your father and I aren’t together anymore. He’s not gonna take you, and I don’t want to be stuck with you either so you’re on your own from now on.”

She abandoned her poor little son Jerimiah behind the greasy diner. He was later taken in and raised to childhood by a pack of wild sewer rats.. or would have been, if the pets expansion was out yet.

You would think after 3 generations of ISBI, I would learn to upgrade everything to be unbreakable. I haven’t.

Karrie: *Angry-face*

I blame it on being too busy trying to fulfill all the torch-holder wishes as they come up.

Speaking of wishes.. Fish has had a wish stuck in his queue to win a game of shuffleboard for-ev-er.

PS: I do not condone taking a pregnant wife to a dive bar.

Karrie:  “Prepare for the pain Husband! You brought the wrong girl to play against!”

Fish: “Oh whatever, stop talking trash and take your turn already!”

Karrie: *Wins the round* “Ooh yea, how does that feel, huh? Maybe you should have brought some of those giant suppositories to easy the pain of my foot up your ass!”

Fish: “Karrie!!”

Karrie: “Sorry Husband, competitive streak!”

Karrie: “Hah! The game is mine!”

Fish: “ARRGH! I HATE this game, I never want to play again, ever!” *Wish to win remains*

Karrie: “Aww, I’m married to the biggest bar game loser in the world.” *Dreamy sigh*

Fish-Off-Screen: “HEY! I heard that!”

Shuffleboard score: Karrie 1, Fish 0.

Now, for a mini update of townies:

Starla has been spotted flirting with Clifton. (Ronny Kelly’s youngest child)

Cait has landed one of the hottest guys in town. Liam Prattle. He is Gargantua and Geobe’s grandson by Spencer.

Just ‘cause I’m nice, I gave him a quick makeover. Look how gorgeous he is! You better keep that one Cait!

Another picture I have is for Thindra, her grandson Jack! Disregard the old lady paparazzi creeping up behind him there.

Chip II is still working away at his LTW. I find it interesting how the people who are trapped and are in need of saving, are usually not the actual residents of the homes. This has led to some rather.. awkward situations.

Chip responded to an emergency over at Lester Belle-Kehrer’s house, predictably, neither Lester or his wife Star were home at the time.

Ericka Kehrer, ( Lester’s baby sister ) was trapped under some rubble in their master bedroom.

Chip: “Uh.. Aldo. What are you doing here alone with this little girl.. and where are your pants?”

Aldo: “It’s not what it looks like, I swear! I heard cries from inside and when I came in, some rubble fell on me and I had to remove my pants to escape!”

Chip: “Yea. Sure.” *Dials Chris Hansen’s number*

Back at the house…

Fish: “Hey.. we have a shuffleboard table now?”

Karrie: “Uh huh.. and a baby on the way.”

Fish: “Oh, well that’s nice. … Wait.. what?!”

Fish: “The baby!?!”

Karrie: “Honey. You’re a doctor, remember?”

Fish: “Oh right! To the hospital then!”

They made it to the hospital in time, and Fish ran inside to get prepped for the birth.

Balding Vampire: “Hey sweet-cheeks.. is that a baby in your uterus or are you just happy to see me?”

Karrie: “Ew!”

The birth went smoothly, and in just a couple sim-hours, Karrie delivered a daughter. Unfortunately, Fish stepped through her on the way to the car.

Karrie: “Fish!! What have you done?!”

Fish: “Oops.. I think we’d better go back to the hospital.”

After taking their newborn daughter back into the hospital to make sure there was no permanent damage.. the couple was finally ready to bring her home.

Meanwhile… at the bar…

Chip II: “Thanks for the drink Mack.” *Sighs*

Mack: “Somethin’ wrong Mr. Derp?”

Chip II: “Yea, just depressed that I can’t find anyone to love in this town. My brother had no problem at all.. in fact, he and his wife are over delivering a child right now. I just wish it was that easy for me, ya know?”

Mack: “Don’t sweat it Mr. Derp. I’m sure it will happen for you.”

Chip II: “I hope so Mack, I really do.. is this glass clean? I think I see a spot.”

Back home..

Fish: “Daddy is so sorry he stepped on you, yes he is!”

Meet Gurnie Derp. She’s Neurotic (from being almost killed only minutes after her birth) and Disciplined. Her favorite color is also green like her parents which I found cute, so the baby room was recolored!

Karrie: My baby is so adorable! <3

+5 for the birth of another baby! Too bad Karrie lost me another 5 the next morning by peeing all over the floor. The proof is in the puddle, despite her trying to hide from her shameful act.

To make up for it, she was extra diligent caring for baby Gurnie.

She’s such a cute new mommy!

Chip’s hunt for his own family continues with a little pep-talk from his BFF.

Chip II: “Hey Rochelle.”

Rochelle: “Hey Chip, have you found the man of your dreams yet?”

Chip II: *Sighs* “No, I can’t stop thinking about Ira though. I really want to get him to go on a date with me.”

Rochelle: “So stop being a puss and ask him out.”

Chip II: “I tried that, he told me he’s not interested. No means no.”

Rochelle: “Except for when it really means yes.”

Chip II: “I’m pretty sure it never means..”

Rochelle: “Shut up and ask him again!” *Click*

And so, he did. Though he didn’t exactly explain to Ira that it was going to be a date. Ira agreed under the premise that they were going to meet up at the Prosper Room just to hang out.

Chip made sure to groom himself thoroughly before the big night. He needed to be as attractive as possible if he was going to sway Ira to his cause. (Silly never-nudes!)

Side note: I gave Ira a makeover in the hope that might gay him up a bit.

Chip was a little nervous when he finally arrived and worried that he might get stood up.

Chip II: He’s late.. he should have been here by now. What if he changed his mind? Maybe he got into an accident.. oh no what if he DID get into an accident? What if he really didn’t get into an accident but tells me he did to get out of the date. What if..

It went on like that for a while until he got so worried about, he went downstairs to look.

Once he was downstairs, he tried using his mental-mind-powers to get Ira to show.

Chip II: Please don’t stand me up.. please don’t stand me up.. please don’t..

Success!

Ira: “Hey Chip, sorry I’m late. So.. really, this isn’t some sad pathetic way to get me to go on a date with you is it..?”

Chip II: “What?! No.. of course not! I just .. uhh.. wanted to apologize for putting you on the spot the other day on the phone.. yea. Heh.. how about a drink?”

Ira: “Well, alright then. One drink couldn’t hurt.”

With that, Chip went and bought them both drinks.

Ira: “Uh.. what kind of drink is this.. it looks a little.. strange.”

Chip II: “It’s really good, give it a try. I’m sure you’ll like it.”

Despite giving Ira the most romantic mood enhancing drink in the place, things still weren’t looking good for Chip.

Chip II: *Gazes longingly*

Ira: “Do you really need to dance so close? This is kind of creeping me out.”

Chip II: “Look I’m sorry Ira. I just really wanted this to be a date. I think you are such a nice guy and I was hoping maybe you would give me a chance..”

Ira: “No means no Chip! I told you before I wasn’t gay and I’m still not now!”

Damn it. So the wish to go on a date with Ira remained, Ira went home annoyed at Chip for having lied to him in an attempt to get him to go out on a date, and Chip ate it on his way out of the elevator, compounding his misery.

During the whole not-a-date date fiasco, Fish had to run a clinic in the park.. at night.. with needles full of unknown substance.. totally not sketch, right?

Actually, I *finally* got to do what I was planning for Fish, which was to cure any vamps who come to the clinic with Twallan’s MC. Guiseppe Hemlock was the first to receive the ‘treatment’.

I think he managed to de-vamp a few more at the time, but it was a while ago and I don’t remember who.

Gurnie managed to survive to her first birthday. Of course I couldn’t wait to see what she looked like, so as soon as the message popped up that it was her birthday.. out went the cake! Chip was the only one who actually bothered getting dressed for the occasion.

Karrie: “Why isn’t she doing anything yet? Isn’t she supposed to do stuff?”

Karrie: “Psh, I’m tired of waiting. I’m going back to watching TV. Call me if she finally does something.”

Chip II: “Karrie!” D:

Oh my. Look at the baby!

Let’s get a closer look at Gurnie’s cuteness.

Those green eyes from Hannah just keep getting passed down!

Gurnie: Mr. Mailbox doggy, I love you. I know you’re an inanimate object, and thus cannot attempt to murder me in my sleep. *Cuddles*

Sooo.. somehow, it seems I never got any pictures (or lost them) of Karrie’s second pregnancy. I’ll just leave you all with this…

To Be Continued!

Points: +40

It’s a Nice Day for a Derp Wedding

Sorry this update has taken a few weeks! I have several excuses though, 1) One week was spent on vacation where I had no computer. 2) I spent the week after getting home from vaction sick and started playing Rift while I was home rather than the Sims. 3) I’m incredibly good at procrastinating!

Thindra randomly sent me an awesome gift of this aquarium I had wishlisted in the Store so I wanted to post a big THANK YOU!!! So thank you Thindra! That was an unexpected and really nice thing to do.. it also kick-started me to get back to working on writing this chapter up! Here’s a pic to show off how friggin’ cool it is! (Of course it went in Fish’s room too hehe.)

As to where we were last chapter.. I know, I’m a bastard for tricking people last chapter with Booga’s baby, making him out to look like Fish’s spawn.. but this time it’s for realsies. We’re going to be starting gen 4 by the end of this update. Scout’s honor.

D-Boy: They’re heeeere.

*Insert eerie horror film score*

Max: “Oooooooooo.”

Max* *Strips buck-nekkid*

Yep.. that’s about the scariest thing you could have done Max. Well played.

I was going to create a mausoleum type thing in the basement but after the ghosts kept coming out and staying for days on end from some kind of glitch, I decided to scrap that idea and converted a residential plot on the hill to be a cemetery.

It is now holding all the Derps, the Derp’s spouses, and the simselves’ graves. Yay no more annoying ghosts constantly breaking shit around the house!

I didn’t mention it in the last chapter, but Karrie does have a part-time job over at the grocery store. I was tickled when I got a message that she jacked something from work. An exit sign in green to go with their room. Oh kleptomaniac trait, how I love you.

I grudgingly had to get rid of the lovely little artsy rock garden I had created on the right side of the house to make room for the stupid fire truck. It was awful, when the fire truck gets all worn out, it goes SO slow, Chip was taking sim hours to get anywhere in it, and of course he always defaulted to driving the damn slow truck no matter what. It wouldn’t fit under the car park I originally created unless I squooshed in the kitchen. I did not want to squoosh the kitchen so, my beautiful garden got sacked so Chip could repair the damn thing. *Grumble*

Fish: “Hey Karrie! I know last time we went out on a date it was kind of a flop.. but would you like to go out again me tonight? I’d love to make it up to you.. and I promise I won’t fall asleep this time!”

Karrie: “That sounds fun.. beats hanging out in the basement anyway.”

Fish took Karrie over to the Aquarius dance club again (because I was mad the last date there failed in flames and I was determined)

Karrie: *Sizes up Ira* If they let this loser in and not me, someone is going to lose an eye.

Luckily it didn’t come to that. This time they were both allowed through with no problems, yay!

Fish: “Check it out, this is my best move, UNH!!” *Shoots beam of light of of his ass*

Karrie: “Wha?”

Karrie: “This is so much fun! Thanks for staying awake this time Fish!”

Fish: “I aim to please!”

Karrie: “Wow she is wearing the worst clubbin’ outfit ever.. socks and loafers with a mini-skirt? Tragic.”

Fish: “You’re not checking out my sweet moves! I learned this one from epic sax guy!” *Thrusts pelv*

The girl in the bad outfit is Nikita Hemlock-Wright. She’s preggo with Dan-simself baby!

Speaking of preggo..

Karrie: “Let’s take this little party home.. what do you say?”

Bow-chicka-wow-wow.

In the meanwhile, Chip II was on his way to the Grind to work on a dancing opportunity, but decided to stop by a party being held by Elspeth on the way.

Elderly Rob: “Look kid, I’ve been the town Casanova for a long time. I know all the right ways to get the ladies attention and I gotta tell you, I can understand the hair-do.. but..”

Elderly Rob: “Showing off your little Wonder-Muscle is really not one of the ways to go about it. You gotta leave some things to the imagination.””

Andria: “Ooh did you hear that Jammie? There’s a Bone Flute on display in the kitchen. I’ve got to see this!”

Andria: “Fixing our sink?! Highly inappropriate Mr. Derp! Please leave!”

But the man with his dingle-dangler out is ok..

Chip headed over to the club to get his groove on and now that I know he is gay, his dance moves look so much more flamingly homosexual. It’s adorable.

Rochelle showed up so I sent Chip to work it with her.

Chip II: “Now for the leap! Hup!” *Heaves Rochelle into the air*

Rochelle: “Whee!”

Chip II: “Now do the Peace & Chicken Grease strut.. flap your wings! Flap!”

Rochelle: “Like this?”

Chip II: “Close, but it’s more like this!”

Rochelle: “Ok, how about now?”

Chip: “No hon, you look like a chimpanzee. Try lower, like this.”

Their dance moves amuse me.

Chip rolled a wish to be BFF with Rochelle too. She’s his closest friend now! Actually, I think he might be her only friend..

At first Rochelle and Laurie weren’t getting along.. but then Rochelle decided to join the illustrious ranks of the town Harpy and this happened..

Weird!

Then there is Cait, doin’ the Cabbage Patch with my simself’s worthless son Trey.

Go Cait, go Cait, it’s your birthday unh!

I was getting constant messages about couples wanting to move in together but no homes were available for them, so I dropped this house I DL’d from thesimsresource.com in the middle of town and let them duke it out for ownership.

Shelia, Gus’s granddaughter won, moving in with her new husband Raphael (the Emo-vamp-teen) and their baby Paul. Good lord.. they are already making gen 5 Derps!

The newest member of the household, Karrie, (who is not under my control) doesn’t do a whole lot other than hogging Chip’s bed..

Karrie: Zzzz.. Chip’s… bed…more..comfortable..than mine…zzzZ.

..And watching TV. Her Couch Potato trait working it’s magic it seems. At least she’s always watching the cooking channel so it counts as skilling up. She never actually cooks and I think she’s at like skill level 6 or something just from watching the tube. Seriously, I have never seen her watch anything but cooking shows!

Now that Fish and Karrie were an item, it was time to work on Chip II’s love life.

Chip II: “Yea Luis that’s it! Way to tone those rock-hard … lucious.. buttocks..”

Luis: “Chip.. you’re a great boss, and a good friend but, I’m not gay. That, and I’m getting married to Nicolle Maloney-Kelly tomorrow.”

Chip II: I’ll never find a man.. *Sobs*

So, it was a bummer that Luis was taken.. but yay for the Kelly family for having the first great grandbaby on the way!

After the embarrassment of basically being called out for sexual harassment by his employee, Chip II started working from home rather than going in to the station everyday. He also stopped wearing his fireman’s uniform to emergencies in some sort of mis-directed angsty rebellion.

Dan: “OMG! I’m trapped! Can’t you do something about this window so I can leave?”

Chip II: “Oh for pete’s sake.. just use the damn door already.”

Dan’s simself isn’t a vampire anymore either.. no clue how that happened. Just a random de-vamping I guess!

Oh! He and Nikita also have a son named Kendell now.

Since I’m already on the topic of simselves, let’s see what they (and their descendants) have been up to.

My simself’s wretched son finally did something good and gave me a grandbaby.. well except that he did it with one of the ugliest girls in town. She’s the only other girl besides Carie who would hook up with him, so I can’t be too disappointed I suppose.

Thindra’s daughter Laurie is becoming quite the troublemaker.. it must come from Lenny’s side of the family.

Edgar on the other hand, just had a baby with Consuelo! More Hitoru/Kelly grandbabies, yay!

The Sleep families eldest daughter Britta got married and had a baby with Fish & Chip’s cousin Aldo!

Rochelle finally got fed up living with Starla and moved out on her own.

She then proceeded to date.. a lot.

Yea! Keep Spencer! Garg’s hotty son would be perfect!

D: ! Wow.. ditched for the #1 ugliest girl in town.. fail.

The Kehrer family has been pretty low-key, though Sarah and Rob are elders now, and Rob was a philandering Casanova.. they are still together.

The eldest, Lester moved out on his own.  The second eldest, Brendan, started dating Jill, one of the Stormcaller grandkids.

Oh and they also get the joys of raising the town brat.. haha.

Booga is still being Booga.

Even after becoming an elder.. some People never change.

Phew.. I think that covers it for pop-up updates for this chapter.

Chip II: “Fish, I just don’t know what to do.. I really want to meet a guy to date, but it seems like all the men I’m interested in are straight.”

Fish: “Bro, don’t even sweat it. You are a great guy and if those straight men don’t turn gay to be with you, they are obviously not worth your time. Now go on and give one of ‘em a call and see if they’ll go out with you.”

Chip II: “Really? You think so?”

Fish: “Totally.”

Chip II: “Well alright, I guess I could try..”

Fish: I really hope he can get a date!

Chip II: “Hey Ira.. this is Chip II.. we met at City Hall when I was..  er what? Yea.. I was the Fireman caught with the mayor in that awkward photo. Look, I wanted to know if you want to go out with me later to… Oh.. you’re not gay. Right.. well sorry to bother you.”

Chip II: *Sobs* No one will ever go out with me!

Chip II: “Can’t you use your simgod powers and create a hottie boyfriend for me?”

Well I could but that would be kinda like cheating.. hey! Stop breaking the 4th wall!

Chip II “But.. so… lonely..”

No! Now stop it!

Chip II: *Whimper*

Fish and Karrie on the other hand, are inseparable. Fish took Karrie to the park for a romantic picnic outing the next day.

Cliché Chinese Tourist: *Photobombs*

Elderly Sarah: Oh look at that sweet boy here with his girlfriend.. how precious!

Fish: “Karrie, I know we haven’t been together for all that long.. but I know that you are the only woman I will ever want to be with, for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?”

Karrie: *Gasp!*

Karrie: “Oh Fish, of course I will!”

Chip was invited over to Shelia’s housewarming party, so he went.. hoping of course to meet the man of his dreams. He didn’t. But he did get to meet the first of the gen 5 spare Derps.. Paul.

Chip II: “Aww you’re a cute little fella, yes you are!”

Chip II: Oh god.. my back. Remind me to never have one of these.

With the pace your love life is going at.. I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.

Hey Karrie, give us a song to start off your little montage.

Karrie: “Hey little sister what have you done? Hey little sister who’s the only one? Hey little sister who’s your superman? Hey little sister who’s the one you want?
Hey little sister shot gun! It’s a nice day to start again. It’s a nice day for a Derp wedding.”

Woo Billy Idol! He was totally my first crush as a little girl.. omg. <3

And there you have it.. I actually put some effort into having a real wedding for the Derps.

Guys.. why are you still clapping? The Bride and Groom went home hours ago..

Guys?

Carie: *Gravelly-Man-Voice* “I am starving.. please do something Freddie.”

Freddie: “I can’t.. stop.. clapping.”

I finally took pity on them and reset them both even though I was really tempted to see how long they would continue to stand there clapping, and whether or not it might end in the death of one or both of ‘em.

Meanwhile at the Derp home…

Karrie: Oh looksee.. I’m pregnant!

See? Gen 4! I told ya so!

To Be Continued:

Points: 40

A Festival of Sausage

Why hello again friends, welcome to another mostly pointless but hopefully amusing story about my Sims family.. the Derps!

I apologize in advance, this chapter is probably going to end up being all over the place.

Teaser time! It looks like somebody had a baby!

In the last post, Justus passed away leaving her two boys Chip II, Fish, and long-time boyfriend Sebastian to fend for themselves. Basically the house became a swingin’ sausage-fest after she died. She left them several plates of leftovers she cooked though, so at least they won’t starve to death.. well, at least not immediately.

Justus’ funeral party went ok.. leave it to the Derps extended family members to say what a great time they had.. at a FUNERAL party. Those people need to get out more or something.

Fish: “Oh Willard! What will we do without mom!” *Sob!*

Willard: …

Sebastian continued to moon about the house, complaining of his broken heart.

Sebastian: Oh Justus, I’ll be with you soon up there in sim-heaven.

Oh! I figured out why the guests at the party kept arriving and making a beeline for the bathroom. They thought it was the front door of the house. This is how I figured it out..

This woman showed up and let herself into the house, lets call her.. Paparazzi LadyLumps. Now, Paparazzi LadyLumps wanders in and starts clicking pictures like it’s nobodies business.

Paparazzi LadyLumps: Ooh yes, this will make a great story. The Derp family kitchen secrets are mine! *Click-click-click*

“What the hell is this!” I exclaimed to myself, “Why are there paparazzi invading the house?!”

Paparazzi LadyLumps: *Sniffs hand* What a strange odor, where did I put this finger last..?

Chip II: “Yea.. I don’t know who you are.. but would you mind GTFO of my house? Thanks.”

After she left I realized that in my infinite genius and vast knowledge of all things architectural *cough*bullshit*cough* I left one wall open to the courtyard outside with no gate. Apparently if you do this, the rest of the house is fair game to any old schmoe who happens by. Go figure! Anyway, the hole was patched up and life has returned to semi-normal. Riveting information, I know. I fail so you don’t have to people.

The next day, I had the boys take their father out and about town while they worked on completing opportunities and wishes, mostly because I was feeling a bit guilty for leaving him home alone in his depression. I didn’t want to have the boys come home to an old man swinging from the rafters or anything. So, they all packed into the shit-wagon that’s been in the family since Gen 1 and hit the road.

First stop, the business center/bistro so Fish could take care of an opportunity he had there.

Sebastian: Oh my, I forgot how much I love the outdoors!

That’s the spirit Seb old boy! Life is still worth living!

While Fish was inside doing his thing, Chip II ran into a very knocked up Kirsten. Her and Chase Striker got married when she got pregnant.

When Fish was done, the boys headed over the to gym to work out for yet another opportunity.

In the meanwhile, Kirsten went into labor in front of their cousin Aldo.

This resulted in the great-grandson of Max being born, Darren Derp-Striker! I am slightly ashamed that the NPC spares are beating me though.. since I’m still only on gen 3. >.>

Anyway, back to the boys at the gym!

Sebastian: “Son.. I know you wanted me to work out to prolong my life.. but it’s.. well I’m afraid it’s just too late.”

Sebastian: *Puts on a brave face* I’m coming for you Justus baby!

Fish & Chip II in unison: “Dad!!”

Death: Alright, let’s go old timer. I’ve got a lunch date with War and Pestilence in 15.

Jill Stormcaller-Belle: Great, thanks for the crappy childhood memory of seeing some strange old geezer die. Jerks.

He was a great legacy spouse. He contributed several strange drawings of boots, only peed himself once and was generally a pretty nice dude. *Sadness*

Chip II: “I don’t think I want to work out anymore.. can we just go?”

Fish: “Yea bro, let’s go home.”

We’ll let the boys have time to grieve while we look around town.

Let’s see what the new married couple is up to!

Oh.. well that’s nice I guess. Boring, but nice. Couldn’t you guys go do something dark and gothy like vampires should do?

In other hookup news, simself kids are marrying other simself kids!

The two most hated sims in town finally found each other. This cannot end well..

My simself’s loser son moved in with Ronny as his personal plasma donor. At least the Sleep family won’t have to put up with him anymore.

Speaking of the Sleep family.. WTH Kevin?

WTH Kevin and Nicolle?!

Rob and Sarah cranked out their fourth kid, a girl .. with a strangely spelled name! These two are breeding machines.. jeebus. 

I moved Hasan in with his brother Spencer in the Stormcaller’s original house so I could make room and moved in some more simselves. I was going to wait but I got antsy to get 3 more of my favorite people into town.

First, I dropped Starla and Rochelle in.

2 seconds into their new home… Starla establishes her dominance.

Starla: “I PUT THE CREEP INTO CREEPERS BLARAHRAHRAHRAHHH!”

Rochelle: “Omg! Why her as a roommate!?”

Rochelle: “Omg and she scared me into some strange CC clothes I’ve never seen before! WHY!?”

Because the clothes you were supposed to get were glitchy and made this weird line from you to the middle of the house like some kind of fucked up umbilical cord. That’s why. Besides, I think that outfit looks cute on you.

Rochelle: “Heh, well.. what Starla doesn’t know yet.. is that I TOO am quite evil.. oh yes, she will pay.”

Starla: “I heard that.”

Rochelle: “Dammit!!”

That household is going to be trouble. So, a little later I also dropped poor Cait in there with them! ^_^ Sorry Cait!

Cait: “It’s ok, I’m going to get fed up and move out of here in about a day or so anyway.”

Fair enough!

Cait: Now move over you evil bitches, that single bed is MINE.

Back at home, yet another family member died..

RIP Willard   … I fear for the day the Pets expansion is installed since they couldn’t even keep a fish alive for a week. Maybe I should start building a pet cemetery.. ew what if they come back from the dead like they did in Stephen King’s? Sorry, my mind is wandering.. let’s get back on track.

Chip continues to work on saving people’s lives in his own ‘special’ way.

Chip II: “Don’t worry Ma’am, I’ll water your roses for you!” *FWWSSHHHT*

As does Fish..

Luis: “Oh the pain! It’s like needles glued to daggers stabbing into my groin! Somebody call a doctor!”

Fish: “Yea, here’s the problem. It’s uh.. it’s your penis. Sir, have you been messing around with the town bike?”

Luis: “…Yea.. uh.. could you not tell my wife about this?”

Fish: “I’m pretty sure she’ll figure it out for herself next time she sees you naked sir.”

To celebrate their hard work at.. well… work, the boys got a hot tub. One of them wanted it, I don’t remember who.

Chip II: “Then she threw a phone book at me and yelled that she couldn’t care less about her flowers when the kitchen was burning. I mean, I see her point but seriously, the fire wasn’t going anywhere and I got to it eventually.”

Fish: *Rolls eyes* “You think your day was bad? I had to examine an STD-infested nether region and let me tell you, it was not a merry stroll down pleasant-peen lane.”

The next day, Chip II got to respond to a whole bunch of emergencies at once after an earthquake rocked the town. Earthquakes really help the ‘lives saved’ count!

Life-saving action shot!

Chip II: RAWR! *Kicks down door*

Consuelo Kelly-Shutter: “¡Oh mi! ¡Se bloquea la puerta y me atrapan! ¡Ayúdeme!”

Chip II: “Lady, the fire’s been out for 35 minutes… you can leave now y’know.”

Let the wooing commence!

Fish: “Hey Karrie.. I know it’s been a while since high school.. and well, we haven’t really hung out since then.. but I was wondering..”

Fish: “…Well, I was wondering if maybe you’d like to go out on a date with me?”

Karrie: “Oh how pretty! Well sure, I’d love to! …Who are you again?”

Fish took Karrie over to the Aquarius dance club, though, the date didn’t exactly go as planned.

Faye Sleep: *Glares at Starla*

Starla: “Stop looking at me like that twerp. I’ll cut you.”

Fish was let into the club no problem, but the bouncer wasn’t allowing Karrie through.

Karrie: “But my date is in there.. why did you let him in and not me?”

Bouncer Khan: “We don’t allow your kind in here.”

Karrie: “My kind, what the hell are you talking about.”

Bouncer Khan: “Plasma-sucking-vamps. That kind.”

Karrie: “But I’m not..”

Bouncer Khan: “Out.”

They’ll let in sleeping-bag-narcoleptics though!

So much for the first attempt at dating.. well if at first you don’t succeed..

Fish: *Dreamy sigh!*

Fish! No! You’re related to her!

Fish had his first vaccination clinic and was Kevin ever excited about it.

Kevin Sleep: “Oh boy! Me next for a shot! Me me me me me me me!”

Sarah wasn’t nearly as enthused.

Fish: “So you see this giant glowing green needle? I’m gonna stick it in your neck ok?”

Sarah: “I dunno.. are you sure this is safe?”

Fish: “Yea, it’s mostly safe.”

Sarah: “Mostly!?”

Hasan Stormcaller on the other hand, cried like a little bitch.

At the same time, Chip had an emergency over at the Sleep’s apartment, and afterward he fixed their broken plumbing for them. What a nice guy!

Chip II: “Hey, where do you keep the bleach? This tub needs a good disinfecting.”

Elizabeth: “You’re fixing our plumbing? Highly inappropriate! I may have to ask you to leave!”

You should be glad, what’s wrong with you people!

Chip II: “Oh god what happened to my hair?!?”

Oh stop freaking out, you just had your adult birthday and that shaggy do came back to haunt you yet again. It’s already fixed.

Over time, Chip II kept rolling wishes that had to do with Ronny Kelly, and he ended up with 3 different ones in his queue just for Ronny which I found rather amusing.

Chip was sent over to Ronny’s house for a boys day out!

Chip: “Hey Ronny! Wanna pillow fight?”

Ronny: “Do I ever!”

Ronny & Chip: *Giggle like school girls*

Chip: “Haha that was fun.. and look what I brought for you!”

Ronny: “ A present, for me?” *Unwraps* “Oh a Cow Plant.. how thoughtful!”

Trey:  “Hey Ronny, I made you some french toast but I think I burned it a litt… hey who is this dude?! Is he hitting on you?”

Ronny: “What? No man, we’re just hanging out.. stop acting like a jealous ass.”

Then Chip wanted to jam out with his best pal Ronny. Even Trey joined in!

And just for fun, Chip gave Ronny a ride in his fire truck.

Ronny: “Ooh can I turn on the siren?”

Chip II: “Heck yes you can! It’s that button over there.”

A little later, Chip was caught in a terribly compromising position with the Mayor.

Mayor: “Thanks for being such a great firefighter Chip. Here’s your reward. Now excuse me, I have to go. I have a hotel room full of hookers and blow waiting for me.”

Chip II: “Uh..? Ok, thanks I guess.”

He then had the sudden and inexplicable desire to learn Ira’s sign. Hmm..

Fish: “Hey Karrie! Sorry about the other night at Aquarius.. I don’t know what happened.. will you let me make it up to you?”

Karrie: “Sure, you can let me come stay at your house. I’m sick of living with all my half brothers and sisters. I can’t get any privacy!”

Danial: “Score, dibs on your room!”

Welcome Karrie to the household! …Aw shit, I just realized I spelled her name wrong there. Well I’m not re-doing it now!

Curious about Chip’s recent actions concerning the Mayor and Ira.. Fish asked him about his gender preference.

Chip II: “Well, it’s like this Fish.. “

Oh. That explains an awful lot. Way to throw a monkey wrench into my plans Chip. Thanks.

Fish’s room was made over in lots of green (it’s Karrie’s favorite color too )

She prefers to sleep in Chip’s bed though.. awkward..

Ever since he came out Chip keeps rolling random wants to meet random men. Here he is after wanting to give a ‘friendly greeting’ to this guy.

Chip II: “Mission accomplished, beam me up Scotty!”

Teleporter: *BZZZZM!*

Guy: That was weird..

Oh yea, almost forgot.. remember that baby I mentioned at the beginning? Here’s his real parents..

The kid is doomed. At least he has a nice second cousin, maybe there is hope yet.

Fish: “Aww hey there little fella!”

To Be Continued!

Points: +40 on accounta I got another +20 for the family being worth $100,000 simoleans.