More Derps again so soon? What trickery is this?!
Amit: “This is no trickery mere mortal. With great focus, my mighty sun god powers have given me the perfect camouflage. MARVEL AT MY INVISIBILTY!”
No.. that would be my blatant abuse of the color yellow on your outfit and in these rooms, which I hadn’t noticed until now.. thanks for pointing that out.
Amit: I SAID MARVEL!!!
Amit: Much better. In my great and infinite mercy, I shall let you live… for now.
Amit: *Screams like a little girl* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!! A SPIDER!!!!
At least he’s entertaining to watch, most non-torchies tend to be pretty boring.. but not this guy!
Gurnie, in her newfound ghostly existence, chooses to carry on the family semi-tradition of doing plumber work around town. Herb would be so proud.. *sniffle*
This is quite literally the first townies I found.. and that screenshot is disturbing enough on it’s own, it really doesn’t need my help in adding a caption.
But.. just when I think it isn’t possible to get worse.. my game manages to find a way..
Suzanne: “Um.. where are my pants Mr. Simphony-Striker?”
Midget-Pedo-Brent: “Don’t worry, you won’t need them for the place I have in mind. Come along now little girl!”
That just may be my number-one favorite glitch of all time, if it wasn’t spoiled by my horrible disgusting imagination just now, that is.
Almost immediately after this, Brent was punished by being forced to move into a room that smells like death & mildew in Shady Pines, where he will spend the rest of his days with the rest of the old prisoners people.
Back at the house, Chroma is finally awake so I can do something again.
Amit: “I am pleased at this attire you have chose for your Sun God today, you look lovely my little lacy-clad-limpet.”
Chroma: “Amit.. exposure to the sun will almost probably kill you. Please tell me you know that, right?”
Amit: “Of course I know that. Obviously that is why I only use my sungod powers indoors.”
Chroma: “I love you, but make no sense to me most of the time, honey.”
Amit: “Speaking of powers.. I have decided to give my blessing to your pussy.”
Chroma: “Uhh.. can it wait until after I’ve had breakfast?”
Amit: “No, it must be done now! Here you are, ‘El-Gato-Magnifico’, thou art now blessed by partaking of this special treat. My Sun God powers have also revealed to me that the gamma radiation levels in it shouldn’t cause too many extra limbs. I can feel your gratitude already.”
Dobby: Tastes like shit, but no one’s bothered to fill my bowl in days.. so I’ll take whatever I can get at this point.
Chroma gets to work on those pesky wishes that have been locked in for a year.
Reach the top of the painter career..
She had a ton of her paintings laying around the house, so all the weird ones are sold. There are a lot of weird ones.
Sabrina’s son Ronny reminds me that he is still alive.. and still making babies. I suspect he is trying to get the Kelly vampire clan size to rival that of the Hemlocks and/or the Talons, since he’s already got 5 other kids, 6 grandkids and 2 great grandkids. The mother, Khalilah is one of Miah’s kids though, so I can’t help but to approve.
Chroma’s pet Remy (the snake) died about a minute after I remembered he existed. Woops.
Amit: “Chroma.. we’ve been summoned to some sort of German celebration.. UGH what is that terrible stinky stinkiness?!”
Chroma: “It’s my Re-heh-heh-heeemmyyyy.. he’s deaaaad.” *Wails*
Amit: “That’s too bad.. so, have you seen my lederhosen anywhere?”
Somehow, Amit managed to convince Chroma to dress up with him to go to the German party. Still not sure what their costume theme was, but you know.. couples who, uh.. do weird shit together.. or something. I don’t know.
Amit: This party is going to be great, right after I take a massive dump in their toilet, that is!
Chroma: “Honey, I can see other guests through the window and no one else is dressed up for a German themed party.. are you sure you got the right info?”
Amit: “Nope! C’ya in there!”
Turns out he did get the wrong information.. you’d think he’d remember that ‘German’ is actually the name of his uncle, who also happens to be his best friend, and his boss at the science facility…
Amit: This is… disgusting!
Amit: *Howls with rage at the toilet for no real reason.*
The only real highlight of the party was when a fight between Ramon and German broke out for an unknown reason, and Chroma’s cousin Bubba’s drumming accompanied the whole scene.
Bubba: I’m setting the mood!
Somewhere between leaving the party and getting back to the home lot, Chroma found out some important news she needed to share with her man.
Chroma: “So, how do you feel about blocks?”
Amit: “I like them usually, unless they are thrown at me.. or cement ones on my feet.”
Chroma: “I mean, like, –baby- blocks.”
Amit: “If you want to get some baby blocks, that’s ok with me!”
Chroma: “I’M PREGNANT WITH YOUR BABY.”
Amit: “Oooh… Baby…”
Chroma: “.. I COMMAND YOU TO BE AN EXCELLENT FATHER.. AND ALSO TO GIVE ME A BACK MASSAGE.”
Amit: “I’m going to be such an excellent father! Would you like a back massage honey?”
If only it was that easy, amirite?
Nraas Story Progression, it’s things like this that make me love you even more:
Later that morning, despite being exhausted, Chroma had to be sent out to lure Amit back inside the house with promises of WooHoo. Otherwise, I fear he might’ve just stay outside until he became a crispy pile of ash. Moments later, after looking for the family moodlet manager and failing.. the expectation of finding said item and subsequent discovery of the lack thereof led then of course, to this:
No good deed goes unpunished it seems. A shameful -5 from the torch holder. To compound the shame, I later did find the moodlet manager. it was in her inventory the whole time – I’m just blind, forgot how to use it, and also I think Amit may have been ok outside anyway since it was raining at the time.. pfft.
Amit, equally as tired, made it to bed on his own without passing out. At least someone around here seems to know what they are doing.. even if it is the insane guy.
While the sims of the house are boring and sleep the day away, it’s time now to tune in to Big City Kitty Mini-Adventures starring Dobby!
Dobby: I’m only doing this because I’ve wanted to ‘sniff Florence’ for a year. Also, who the fuck is Florence?
One of Chroma’s cousins, actually.. and I’ve lost track of how many there are now. It’s probably safe to assume most everyone in town is a cousin at this point I think.
Dobby: I’LL TAKE THE SUBWAY LIKE A BOSS YO.
Dobby: This was a terrible idea.. I don’t even know where I am right now.. I don’t really want to ‘sniff Florence’, srsly not worth it.
Dobby: Look! I almost got hit by that cab! Please make this madness stop!
You’re almost there buddy, she’s not far from here, I’m sure of it.. look! There she is now! GO GO GO!
Dobby: Durrrr. No.
Chroma, finally awake, had to once again be sent on a rescue mission, since a message popped up that Dobby would be taken away if he didn’t get attention soon.
In the end, Dobby achieved nothing, besides coming down with a nasty case of the fleas. Chroma.. on the other hand..
Chroma: FINALLY. *completes year-long wish to wash the cat*
After that, I discovered the possibility of renting out rooms to complete strangers… what could possibly go wrong with that?
Chroma: “So, I have this really nice spare room to rent out with more than enough space for two. Would you mind placing an ad in the paper for me? The address is 16 Dean Road.. yea, that’s right.. the big one under the bridge. Um.. no, we aren’t trolls, why would you even ask that?”
Chroma: …Now to buy a high chair, a rocking chair, and of course a horseshoe court in preparation for your arrival little one. Don’t worry little Boo, soon we’ll have plenty of fresh plasma around for you.
Sinister! .. but also kind of ingenious..
…and plenty of cash for me.. er I mean, the Derp family. Wat?
A quick makeover of the spare room upstairs to house the new roomies.. I rather like the big blood splat carpet in the middle of the room, any new stains will blend right in!
Chroma: OMIGOD! I’m NEVER going to go to Al Simhara now that I’m having a baby!!
Truth. That wish is locked in for lyfe yo. Mostly because I don’t want to risk all the crazy bugs that always seem to go along with traveling.
To make it up to her, I bought her the Immortal Vampire lifetime happiness reward… Ok, AND because I figured I ‘d better do it before I accidently kill her.
Chroma: The sunlight doesn’t burn anymore, and really, I should be showing you all how thrilled I am right now.. but instead I am just going to stand here all stoic-like, looking amazing in all my glittery glory. You’re welcome.
With sunlight no longer being a literal pain to deal with.. she then waddled her sparkly ass over to City Hall to pick up her service award for being such an amazing painter person.
Which.. turns out was just another stupid ribbon. Ohyay. *Chucks it on the pile*
While she was out, the new roomies have arrived at the house. They are subsequently re-named Hans & Hilda Gershtonklefluter. Why? I don’t know.. must have been the outfits they were wearing or something.
Hans: “Hilda vhat is zis ztrange vatery contraception?”
Hilda: “Vhy zat looks like ze vater tank for ze drinkings and ze vashings.”
Hans: “Ooohhh jah, vhy didn’t I sink of zhat?” *Fills up a cup.*
These two are going to be a delight.. I can tell.
Side note: I think it’s really cute that Dobbs’ most favorite spot in the house is right there next to the pictures of Andie.
Now, let’s get back to the stupidity..
Chroma makes a trip across town to break the big news to her mom. Chroma’s half-brother, Chin-Han, photobombs, belches, and farts in the background for.. pretty much the whole interaction, ruining most of the shots I took. Thanks for that Chin-Han.
Gurnie: “I’m going to be a grandma?! Oh honey, I’m so happ—“
Finally, he went inside the Apartments, now maybe I can get some good touching family reunion shots.
Prostitute: “You gals need ta’ do yer talkin’ somewhurr else. This here’s my corner.”
Chroma: “Seriously? Mom, your neighborhood has really gone to crap.”
Ohhkay.. maybe if we try going inside instead.
Chin-Han: I herd u want good ‘touching family’ reunion shots. huehuehuehue.
NO. DO NOT WANT.
Chroma: Hang on, let me just tap into my hormonal-bitch powers again..
Chroma: “GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME CREEP-HAN OR I’LL RIP YOUR FUCKING FACE OFF.”
Huh.. apparently Creep-Han is also part of the growing clan of Kelly vamps now too. I took a look at his family tree, and I’m not entirely sure where the relation is.. but his last name is Kelly-Wright, and Dan’s simself is his Grandpa on his mother’s side.
Since that wasn’t exactly working out as I’d planned.. Chroma is sent back to the house, only to come home to more unplanned events..
Welcome one Raphael Killian, the Derps’ very first zombie.. and certainly not the last one either. That hat of his kills me, probably killed him too.
Raph: “Unnnghhhhrrrgghhhhhrrr..” Translation: “Raphael never forget that time he get killed, then brought back as zombie, then have to claw his way to freedom.” 😦
Apparently since Chroma is a supernatural creature herself, she displays no fear of Raphael. Instead we use this time to continue fulfilling wishes.. because, well we had nothing better to do and he was there.
Chroma: “Great, you’re just in time Mr. Zombie Repair Guy! I just bought this horseshoe pit recently and I’ve been dying to play.. er maybe that wasn’t the best choice of words.. but uh.. yay, come play with me!”
Raph: “MMmmrrrrrfffgg grruugghh..” Translation: What a coincidence, Raphael was champion horseshoe player in life. He accept this challenge.”
Copernicus: *spying from the bushes* I thought I buried him ages ago! How is this possible..? *GASP* I must destroy all the evidence!!! *Poofs away in a cloud of magic gnome dust*
Well.. ok then, that explains that.
Chroma: “Well, that was fun, thanks for playing with me Mr. Zombie Repair Guy. You’ll have to excuse me though, I believe I need to give birth like, now.”
Raphael: Raphael have enough bad memories for one night, he out of here before he have to see birth mess too. *Shambles off as quickly as he can manage*
Chroma: “AAAAAHHH!! WHY DID I GET PREGNANT.. WHYYYY?! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?! COME BACK AND HELP ME!!”
Chroma: “WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! AMIT! COME HELP ME – THE BABY IS COMING! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?!”
… He’s being busy watching Dobby be cute with a catnip mouse, of course!
Amit: “This is the best thing I have ever seen in my life!”
Thus, the little bundle of generic-baby-graphic was destined to be born amidst the shrubberies next to the mailbox in the front yard. In keeping with the weird scheme of naming after interests of the parent, she is named Yselle (easle).
Yselle came with Friendly locked in and rolled Perceptive for her starting traits. Her favorite color is .. grey, she likes autumn salad, and country music. Hopefully she gets more interesting traits later.. because so far, I am not impressed. Her room is so NOT going to be grey either.. I tried, it looked like the never-never-land of never-loading-textures room. Instead, it is pink, because Chroma said so.
Jeremy: “Rrrgglllllllffffggurrrrrr.. urrghhmmf.. mrrggrl.” Translation: “Last thing Jeremy remember was small spiky soup-can creature with hateful yellow eyes.. next thing Jeremy know is finding self buried under azaleas in strange yard.”
Words of Advice to Live By, #53: Never trust a rusted out soup-can gnome.
So.. besides watching the cat.. what else was Amit doing during Chroma’s birthing ordeal?
Amit: “Huh. Well, what do you know.. Red Bull Plasma really does give you wings.”
To Be Continued!
Points: 140 (-5 for Chroma’s pass-out)
Oh yea! One last thing.. turns out that getting old sucks, and I needed to get glasses this year, so I’ve updated my simself a bit. If anyone wants the newest version of my her, she is downloadable right hurr. 🙂
So uh… *awkwardly long pause* ..hey.
I can’t believe I haven’t updated since last July. A frickin’ year.. how much fail is that? Wanna know what else is super-fail? My simming ability – not like they were great to begin with, mind you. Still, I have managed to get caught up on expansions for the most part.. but I haven’t actually –played– them, and it’s been so long since I played last that.. I think I forgot how. So.. while the rest of you out there are probably bored with all the new stuff.. I’ll just now be discovering it and acting like a super-noob. Sounds fun, right?
So, the Derps.
I managed to miss a small chunk of playing time between last update and this one.. I think I deleted the wrong screenshots folder or something. Don’t worry though, it’s not much. Basically it was just Chroma being really boring and painting, doing more painting, getting painting to 10, and finishing ALL the painting challenges. Oh, and there’s a hotdog in her hallway now.. *eyebrow waggle*
Meet Chroma’s new live-in hotdog boyfriend. His number one quality.. is that he is not related by blood to Chroma (like the rest of the town, omfg) Ok, fine, he’s also adorable and has funny traits. I likes him, I does!
Some Fun facts about Amit:
-He’s a vampire whose favorite food is Vegetarian Fish & Chips.
-His lifetime wish is to be a Creature-Robot Cross Breeder and he’s already 3/9 down the Science track, so he might even be able to finish it on his own! (Haha, yea right!)
-He is the great-grandson of Gargantua and Geobe’s simselves.
His immediate family looks like this:
Now that he’s living in the house, he is, of course, on his own… he seems to be fitting in ok though:
He enjoys his Vegetarian Fish & Chip flavored soy-plasma just like any other completely normal vampire.
He bonds with his girlfriend over their shared lack of vampire fangs.
Chroma: “You don’t have fangs either! I thought I was the only one!”
Amit: “No way! I thought –I– was the only one! It is truly meant to be, my fangless dove of wonderlumps!”
Chroma: “Doves don’t have fa..”
Amit: “Shh my love-nugget. It’s all in your pantaloons.”
Deep down, he knows who’s boss.
Chroma: He’s crazy .. but.. I LOVE THIS MAN.
I do too Chroma, I do too.
They do a lot of this.
Chroma: “Amit dear.. next time will you PLEASE brush your teeth after you eat that fish & chips flavored plasma?”
Amit: “D’oh! Sorry my little fudge-weasle!”
Dobby: Hey guys, you know I still exist right? Right? Guys? HELLO?!
And thus we conclude ‘what’s left in my screenshots folder from a year ago’ portion of today’s post and enter into the next phase: hours of fiddling with updates, removing CC and repeating said processes until the game will boot up again.
Finally, I was able to load up my game again.. it’s been a year since I’ve seen you guys, what are you up to?!
Amit: That’s weird.. I don’t remember having an elbow there before..
Uh.. well, it seems Amit is busy standing around finding his ‘new’ old body parts behind the science building.. so let’s look in on Chroma..
Chroma: I’ve been wanting to wash that disgusting cat for as long as I can remember, maybe even longer than wanting to go to Al Simhara.. and now he’s riiight where I want him..
Man.. no wonder I quit playing for so long. You guys are totally dull.
Chroma: “Oh Dobbikins… want to do something really fun?”
Dobby: Oh boy, I love fun things!
Chroma: “That’s right.. good kitty, now let’s just go over here by the tub and..”
Dobby: Tub..? Wait-a-sec..
Dobby: OH HELL NO. *Scratch-fight-HISS*
Chroma: “Argh! BAD KITTY!”
Well.. looks like that wish isn’t getting fulfilled anytime soon, and here I thought it was going to be an easy one. Oh yea.. and I lost Chroma’s old hairdo during the great CC purge, maybe I’ll find it again and add it later.. but probably not.
After hanging out behind the science center and reading ‘Where’s Bella’ from cover to cover, Amit found a bicycle and started for home on his own.. which, is a small victory worth mentioning since this is still an ISBI after all.
Amit: “Faster Prancer! We must flee before the ravenous fire-ant people of Monolonokoiikhi descend upon us in their terrible clicking, mandible gnashing fury! I can hear them closing in!”
I.. kinda missed having an insane sim in the family. The last one was Justus I think, wasn’t it?
Moments later, a yeti appeared on the porch, proclaiming its love for Chroma.
Charlie the Yeti: “I know you’re in there my sweet little fur-less angel! I’ve been watching your house from the bushes all day and can stand it no longer.. I must have you!”
Charlie the Yeti: “Chrommmmaaaaaaa…”
Charlie the Yeti: “I have brought you the traditional marriage pail of my people, with the many shiny things I have gathered in the forest over my lifetime. It is bound in knot work woven from my very own armpit hairs. Please accept it and in doing so, tie an armpit-hair knot of life with me.. become my yeti-bride.”
Amit: “Chroma! There a yeti on the front porch with a pail full of old condom wrappers! You’ve got to see this! Come look!”
Charile The Seething Yeti: “You will rue the day you invaded the inner sanctum of my betrothed, puny manling. Mark my words.”
Chroma: “Honey, I know your mind works on a different level.. but seriously.. a yeti? I don’t see anything out there but a pail full of condom wrappers and tin foil bits.”
Amit: “I know what I saw Chroma. It was definitely a yeti.”
Chroma: “Oh Amit, if you say you saw it, I believe you.”
Amit: “I can’t wait to tell you about the escape Prancer and I made from the fire-ant people today!”
Chroma: “Oh my sweet wet-suit wearing love, for now, I have a much better idea..”
Amit: “You always have the best ideas.”
Amit: “..but.. you’re still going to let me tell you about the fire-ant people right? They were really horrifying!”
Chroma: “You can tell me all about it upstairs.. in bed.”
Photo-of-1st-Cousin-Once-Removed-Cordell: I’ll tell you what’s horrifying .. having to watch these two suck face all night. Now THAT is horrifying.
Amit: “Right-o then.. to the upstairs place!”
Chroma: “Honey.. the idea is to wear less clothing for this.. not add more layers.”
Amit: “So says you.. this adds more mystery. Plus, my neck was cold.”
D-Boy: Aww yeah, looks like I’m just in time for the show!
Amit: “First, let me just make sure the bed is safe. Sometimes they vibrate you know.. poltergeists and leprechauns mostly, but you can get the occasional frumplgidget in there too.”
Amit: “Nope, nobody under there.. now to check your side..”
D-Boy: OMFG GET ON WITH IT ALREADY YOU CRAZY PLASMA-SUCKING DOUCHE!
D-Boy: Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about..
D-Boy: Oh.. sonova.. HEY! I CAN’T SEE ANYTHING WHEN YOU’RE UNDER THERE!
Chroma: “Weird.. I could have sworn I just heard some kind of chiming sound coming from in here..”
Amit: “Likely it is the sound of my awesome sun god powers ringing in your ears.”
Chroma: “When did you even change into that get-up?”
Amit: “Like I said, it’s all about adding mystery.”
To Be Continued… (hopefully sooner than before July of 2014)
Total Points: +145-ish according to the last post I made.
Hello again! If you can guess the title reference, you are neat. No prizes or anything, you’re just neat. Yay!
Now that Andie has moved out of the house, Gurnie’s neurotic side has kicked into overdrive. She worries constantly about her daughters and if they will be alright and will they give her grandkids and oh by the way, she tells Chroma, please install hand sanitizers in every room of the house lest we get sick from germs, the ever present danger.
Chroma does her best to keep her mother distracted from her new worries..
Chroma: Race you to check the kitchen sink for leaks!
Gurnie: It’s been 45 minutes and 27 seconds since I checked it last.. you’re on!
But more often than not, it seems that her mother is the one being the distraction.
Chroma: Mom, seriously – I can’t finish my masterpiece with you hovering around all the time.
Gurnie: Well I never! Hmph! Why back when –I- was your age, your grandmother Karrie would have been sitting on the couch watching cooking shows with no interest whatsoever in my skills and blah blah blah..
Masterpiece count: Um.. 1.
In her senility, Gurnie still thinks she wants to be a cop, and begins going to the police station in uniform. She isn’t actually employed there, but no one has the heart to tell her otherwise since she’s a cute little old lady in uniform. They switch her gun for a wooden replica and she is none the wiser.
My game thinks now that she is 88, it’s suddenly the perfect time to stop being bugged and start sending her to work again.. *sigh*
Chroma’s been wanting to throw a party ever since her two spectacularly failed attempts she made for her sister’s birthday. She figures the third time is a charm, and decides to hold a family reunion party at the house. Calls are made.
The living room area is readied for party time excellence.
Bubba is the first guest to arrive, narrowly escaping death by vehicular homicide at the hands of the Delbert the DJ.
Cordell was not invited but since he is a 1st cousin once removed, he is allowed to stay.. his taste in outfits is somewhat questionable though.
Cordell: Hey there thailor.
Heidi: I can’t believe that bitch wore the same hair as me. Worst. Party. Ever.
She left before even stepping inside – which is fine, since she was neither invited nor a sim of any great consequence.
Cousin Florence, town brat.
Bubba: *Sniff checks armpit*
Delbert: I knew I should’ve killed him outside when I had the chance.
Andie arrives fashionably late, but it’s Andie, so it’s cool.
Uncle Skrubs also arrives late, but it’s not cool, since he starting to exhibit ‘creepy uncle’ syndrome by standing uncomfortably close to his niece.
Grumpy-vamp Aunt Kathetyr.
Kathetyr’s equally grumpy-vamp husband Marcos. He’s also been around since Herb and Max were still alive – beware the wrath of ancient balding vampires.
Delbert leaves after being heckled by the bartender for the last time. Kathetyr heckles Skrubs for losing his luxurious mane of CC hair.
Chroma frets that her party won’t be a success.
Marcos: This party is absolutely and totally h..
Chroma: *Gasp* he hates the party! Oh no!
Marcos: … absolutely and totally HAPPENING! Let’s boogie!
Chroma: Two, TWO creepy uncles.. ah-ah-ah.
She even got some pictures of the party, which were added to her family photo wall. Taking pictures of pictures I took as a sim.. aaaahhh inception!!
Chroma decides her next project will be taking photos of all her close relatives for a new gallery display. (She actually did roll a wish then to take a picture of a distant relative which gave me the idea)
Aw, Spongebaby has arrived. Oh, and on that note of families..
The town bike Jessica Talon finally hung up her uterus after 9 kids, 11 grandkids, 10 great-grandkids and 4 great-great-grandkids. THANK GOD.
You’re either a Derp or a Talon-Striker in this town.. but more than likely you’re both.
At some point, a wish is locked to paint a portrait of teenager Gena Belle. Chroma is sent over to her house to solicit.
Chroma: I know we just met, but would you come over to my house so I can paint you?
Nothing creepy there. Nope, not at all.
Needless to say Gena didn’t go for it.
Chroma: I’m totally a legit self-employed artist! I’ve even painted a masterpiece!
Gena will always remember the moment a strange vampire woman invited her over to be ‘painted’. -_-
Oh shit – she pissed off the baby. HEADS WILL ROLL.
Chroma: I didn’t even DO anything!
Chroma has had a wish to host a sim in the park for quite some time and it kept failing for me.. then I realized I never registered my game. Nice. I am winnar.
Trinity the Transcendent put on a magic show to which Chroma was the only spectator. There was some other old lady at the park, but she found a light post far more interesting.
Trinity: ..And for my next trick – I will cause major graphical glitches!
Chroma: WOW She’s GOOD! *Applauds*
Meanwhile, back at the house..
Gurnie picks one of the unfinished, unlit bathrooms to collapse in.
Gurnie: God damnit, I didn’t get to wash my hands yet. Now how am I supposed to properly sanitize?
Death: You decent in there?
Gurnie: I’m a little incorporeal but other than that, yea.
Mike rushes to the bathroom, unprepared for what has happened to his beloved creator and insatiable little love-monkey!
Gurnie: So uh.. how am I supposed to do this?
Death: Just think happy thoughts, spread your arms.. like this, and fly.
Gurnie: That’s Peter Pan.
Death: Yea I know – I’m just messing with you. Get in the urn.
And so she does. Also, sad kitties.
Mike’s emotional chip is unable to cope with this.
It’s the science facility, the boys at the lab had been running bets on the elderly in town to see who would die first for their next major experiment. So rather than doing the tactful thing and waiting to let the family grieve, they phoned Chroma right up 10 minutes after her mother died and told her they’d like to experiment on her remains… but how did they know so quickly? Foul play is suspected.
Chroma was understandably shocked by this call, she hadn’t even known her mother had died in the first place.. she raced home to find that, yes, her mother had in fact passed away while she was at the park. She secretly blames Trinity for all of it. That magical bitch.
Chroma and Mike decide that this mysterious experiment is worth looking into, and so, Gurnie is returned. She hadn’t even been dead for an hour.. but she is grateful, regardless. She doesn’t mind being a ghost if she get’s to stay with Mike. It makes sense, given the lifespan of the average simbot, she says.
I cheated a little and use MC to fix her relationship back to GF for Mike though.. it switched to ex because of the death.
On the tail of Gurnie’s miraculous resurrection, Andie calls to say she has big news! She’s getting married to some guy the family has never heard of.
Skrubs also has big news – he is the father of twins with his new woman. (Poor Mirra died sometime in the last chapter.. I think I forgot to mention it though 😦 )
Andie’s pyro trait also finally rears it’s ugly head.
Chroma really wishes they would stop doing it in her room though.. ectoplasm is SO hard to wash out. Ewww.
The morning after, Gurnie and Mike came to the decision to leave the house, and live out their second chance in a condo downtown together. They take Zoe kitty as well.
Chroma is relieved, and burns her sheets after they leave, so as not to offend.
Masterpiece count: 2
Chroma: *Rolls wish to make 3 more masterpieces and has space for it*
And commence: AWW…
..and then double AWW!
Maybe they will make some little badass vampire robot babies!
To Be Continued!
Total Points: +145-ish – I keep forgetting to add points for what the family is worth on there. Meh.
I’m baaaaack! I had a bit of a fight with the Showtime expansion installation, but we’ve since made up and are BFF now. There also was quite a bit of work on the house that had to be done before I could really get back to the playing the Derp family.. but I done did it.. so here they are, the Derp family in all their generation 5 glory!
From left to right we have Mike, Gurnie, Chroma, Andie 2.0. In front is Zoe, Dobby and Smeagol.
After the trip to China, Chroma, Andie, Gurnie and Mike returned to Bridgeport, to their brand new home, and also to some slight makeovers since I had to do a pretty major CC purging overhaul. I’ll also give a little stats recap for them in a sec.
Chroma: We’re back! WOO!
A quick flyby of the new house I built for them! So.. it was going to be pink to suit the favorite color of our torch-holder(ess?), but I couldn’t hang. I had to change it to make my own eyeballs not implode. Oh.. yea and I’m putting captions at the bottom of pictures now. I’ve decided I like the way that flows better than the way I was doing them previously. SO.. don’t be confused!
It’s pretty durn fancy, I must say. I am SO tired of building houses every generation. I would love to time-travel and slap past me for starting that little trend.. among other things.
Right.. SO, in case you’ve forgotten traits and such, (god knows I did) here’s a quick recap of the family for you! I’ll start with Chroma, since she is the only one I control and all that.
Generic_Paparazzi_PBomb_03: That look is atrocious and you’re a disgrace to vampires everywhere! I can’t even say ‘You Suck’ because you won’t even do that!
Rude! She does kinda have a point though. Chroma is probably the worst at being a vampire of any sim ever. Besides her traits being unfitting for any vampire I’ve ever heard of other than maybe the Count from Sesame Street, she also doesn’t have any fangs.. which is kinda one of the major points for being a vampire. (Harrr, points, get it?)
Chroma: They’ll come in someday! I know it!
To be fair, Chroma has never met her vampire father Carey Hemlock-Belle, and the family doesn’t have any close ties with any other vamps.. so it’s not like she’s had any guidance in how to be properly goth, spooky, sparkle OR do that ‘bluh, blu-BLUH’ thing.
Next is our old pal Gurnie – newly retired from Torch-holding status, she’s perfectly content with her robosexuality. She now spends the majority of her time having wrinkly old-lady WooHoo with her best friend and creation: the gender bender robot, Mike Derp. Oh yea.. and she’s the mother of our generation 5 kids, Chroma & Andie 2.0.. that’s probably worth mentioning too I suppose.
I think this is the first time I’ve taken a good look at all of Mike’s stats. He doesn’t really exhibit most of them so it’s hard to tell what they are. Despite the neglect of being in an ISBI family and being trapped in a female simbot body, Mike has been a good partner to Gurnie and father(ish) figure to the kids. He’s been good friends with everyone in the house for as long as I can remember, and I love him for that. For those of you who haven’t played an ISBI challenge.. non-TH relationships usually tend to tank.
Lastly, we come to Andie. Man, I spent WAY too much time on these stupid stat cards. Anyway! Andie is Gurnie’s youngest daughter, and the result of a union betwixt woman and her robot. Mike in his curiosity about human reproduction, imported some special part from Japan online, which he used to interface with Gurnie in unspeakable ways.. and thus, little Andie came into the world.
Her brave trait balances her technophobia out to a nice healthy hatred of any and all technology.. which is unfortunate, since she has to hate herself and her father by proxy. She handles this inner turmoil, by focusing her loathing on the smaller appliances around. The other unfortunate thing about Andie, is that she is perpetually boring, since she also hates going outside. She just reads, sleeps, and bitches about the radio and TV.
At least she has a wicked pair of Rocket-Chucks. This will never get old for me, haha.
Chroma: Dobby! I missed you so much while we were in China! C’mere you cute widdle-kitty-witty-smooshie-wooshie-kins!” *kissy noises*
Chroma: I wuv you so much I don’t even mind that I’m about to spontaneously combust from sun exposure!
Well.. that’s as much intentional attention as the cats are getting for this chapter.. ENJOY IT.
Chroma knew it was time to connect with her biological father Carey. After getting his contact information from Gurnie (who had Mike look it up) – she prepared herself to meet her father for the very first time.
Chroma: What will he think of me? …And why must I love the outdoors so much when it continues to HATES ME SO. *continues to smoulder not in the sexy way*
As Chroma made her way to his house, Carey, in the meantime was re-connecting with his second child and Chroma’s unknown half brother, Chin-Han. Perhaps there is hope for her to have a relationship with her father after all!
Chroma anxiously arrives at the address Gurnie provided her with earlier, her thoughts racing about all the things she wanted to tell the man she was about to finally meet.
Chroma: Hello? Mr. Hemlock-Belle?
Carey: Yea? What?
Chroma: I’m here to..
Carey: I didn’t order any hookers today.
Chroma: No I’m your dau..
Carey: Whatever, come on up. *BUZZ*
Chroma: Um.. Hello?
Carey: Damn, you’re a lot classier looking than the girls I usually get.
Carey: I mean, just look at that rack! *Wolf-whistles*
Chroma: Oh my god.. this is SO embarassing! Please stop checking me out, I’m not a hooker, I’m your DAUGHTER.
Carey: Damn it.. I really wanted you to be a hooker. *Epic sad face*
Carey: Now wait just a second… Who says you’re my daughter anyway? Is it that town bike Jessica Talon? Because I definitely never woohoo’d with her in the elevator that one time, or that time in the public restroom at the park.
Chroma: The public restroom..? Gross!! No, my mother is Gurnie Derp and she only told me who you were because I really wanted to meet you and learn more about being a vampire..
Carey: Oh yea? Well just because your a vampire doesn’t mean you’re my kid. Gurnie probably slept with tons of them and decided to pin it on me since I’m the man, obviously. Look kid, if you want to prove it, you’re gonna have to get warrant for a DNA sample ’cause I ain’t your dad and I don’t wanna be either.
Carey: So, since we’ve established you aren’t my daughter.. can I get a handjob or what?
Chroma: Wow, just wow. Mom was NOT kidding about you being a raging asshole.. and that’s putting it nicely.
Chroma: Goodbye Carey. I really hope we never meet again.
Carey: Yea, whatever bitch. You know you’ll be back for some of this. *Crotch-gesture*
Chroma: I just met my biological dad for the first time and he turned out to be a total douchenozzle! WOO!
Excitable sims.. bringing you annoying ‘Woo Girl’ moments at the most inappropriate times.
Back at the house, Chroma tries to cope as best she knows how.
Andie: What’s up with the plasma binge sis? You’re kinda creeping me out.
Chroma: Sorry Andie, I eat when I get emotional. I met my real father today.
Andie: That bad huh?
Chroma: You have no idea. *Sucks down another plasma juicebox*
After gorging herself silly, Chroma came to the conclusion that she no longer wanted to be a vampire. Having heard about a cure at the science lab – she took a trip across town to check it out for herself. $3,000 simoleans spent and one sketchy looking vial later, she returned home.
Chroma: Really mom? In MY bed. UGH! This day just gets better and better.
I’d be more annoyed at Mike and Gurnie always taking Chroma’s bed, but now that we have a moodlet manager, she never sleeps anymore. Or maybe she just doesn’t want to use the bed because of what they’ve been doing in there. Your guess is as good as mine.
Chroma set the incredibly pricey vial of Vampirism-B-Gone down and studied it for some time. As angry as she was at her biological father, she wasn’t quite ready to commit to becoming human.
Which is really just a nice way of saying that I almost forgot she would lose her vampy quick-skilling powers, which would make her LTW that much more annoying to complete. So uh.. yea. She gets to wait.. for now.
Since everyone else in the house was sleeping and being quite boring to watch, I sent Chroma out to clear some of her easier locked wishes.
Chroma: Bethany Sleep-Kehrer! You’re the most famous con-artist in town and I’ve been wanting to meet y..
Bethany: No time kid, I gotta go to my sons graduation right now. Hey.. weren’t you in his graduating class?
Chroma: What..? No I don’t think so..
Except that she was.. apparently..
Chroma: Good thing I carry an emergency graduation gown and cap on me at all times! You never know when these things might come up!
Of course, this means that the rest of the family gets the joy of being automatically roused from their slumber and sent over to the Public Services Office.
Gurnie: I hope graduation doesn’t start without me!
I hate to break it to her that she’s already like.. 70 years late.
I guess it’s not all bad – the crowd gathering at the Public Services Office gives me a chance to scope out potential matches for Chroma.. only to find out they are related to her in some way or another, of course.
Except for this teen (who is grandson to both Cait & Rochelle AND a great-great grandson of Gargantua & Geobe).
Delvin Smiles-Styx: Please let me see some boobies sim-god, please!
NO. At least.. not unless I can’t find any better options..
Oh, I guess Ramon isn’t related either.. and hopefully never will be.
Ramon: Seriously. One of these dumb bitches is getting stabbed.. and by stabbed, I mean WooHoo’d. With my penis. OH YEA.
Gurnie arrives long after everyone else has already gone inside..
Gurnie: Did I miss the ceremony?!
Kami: Nah, there’s like 10 minutes left.
Gurnie: Oh good, I have time to get something to eat on the way then.
Chroma: Hooray! I graduat..
*Rudely interrupts* Is that… Bubba Derp back there?
Bubba Blackcat-Derp: DUUUURR.
YES. Definitely Bubba. They let him graduate just to get him out of the system. It was getting a little creepy having a 29 year old man in classroom with twenty 9 year olds.
Impromptu family reuinion, GO!
Neal: Hey, you’re my cousin Andie, right? So, are the rumors true? Are you really part simbot?
Andie: Seriously? Don’t you people have more important things to gossip over?
Chroma: Not really. No one has been born out of wedlock or pissed themselves in public lately.
Mike chooses to celebrate his girlfriend and step-daughter’s graduation by laying out some phat beats. This, like most things in life, thoroughly confuses Bubba’s simple mind.
Kami: I know what you did in there.
Tanisha: You know nothing, Kami Wise.
Yea, I went there.
Gurnie: Yay! I’m the oldest high school graduate evar!
I don’t know either. My game just felt it needed to be so, I guess.
Rare shot of all the girls together is rare.
Chroma: Mom! Get out of the way, quick! I have to meet Bethany before she leaves! That’s the whole point of why I was out of the house today in the first place!
Gurnie: So mean to your poor old mother… *pout*
In the end, Chroma was able to complete that one wish.. after an entire day was wasted by the graduation clusterfuckery. Oh well. At least everyone made it home safe and sound with no mishaps, thanks to the ‘call everyone home’ command Chroma issued.
Gurnie: There’s a teenage boy lurking in the bushes out front. Must be for you Andie.
Andie: Yea, he’s just trying to get a peek at me since I’m half robot. I blame the animes kids are watching these days.
Gabriel: Oh crap, she’s spotted me! *Runs off the lot*
Gurnie: Chroma! Your art crap is blocking my window view!
Chroma: Mom, there’s like fifty other windows you could use. Seriously.
Gurnie might be starting to get a little senile..
Another teen stopped by the house in the morning, hoping for a sneak peak at Andie, but came away with a picture of an old lady who forgot to put on pants that morning.
Torey: I am disappoint.
A couple quick announcements that came up..
Sharla and Bubba are a thing now!
Aaand another Spongebaby is on the way!
Her first, Samuel, is now a child – I tracked him down in the wild to get this rare and exclusive photo:
He’d be cute, if he didn’t have such a vapid look. A quick peek into the family tree, shows that he is grandson to Rochelle as well, nifty!
Dobby: I don’t know what the old lady was on about. I can get to this window just fine… I just can’t see out of it.
Chroma mastered painting really quickly, but still has a ‘paint 5 masterpieces’ wish to complete. She has completed exactly 0 of them so far.
The time came all too soon for Andie to age up to young adulthood. Chroma attempted to throw her not one, but two parties earlier that day. However, due to a series of failures on my part at actually getting people where they needed to go in time.. both of them fell flat and Andie ended up taking matters into her own hands.
Andie: Oh please don’t let me grow any new robotic parts.
Chroma: Ehh.. interesting look you’ve chosen there sis..
There we go.
What a pretty young lady she became! She is also now a Virtuoso.
Gurnie marked the occasion by piddling all over her daughter’s new shoes. –5
Chroma: Mom! The toilet is right here.. like 10 steps away.. seriously?!
Gurnie: I’m sorry honey, my bladder isn’t what it used to be since Mike and I started doing this one move with..
Chroma: Don’t finish that sentence. EVER.
Though I wish I could keep her, Andie must be kicked out leave the house now that she is a young adult.
Andie: Bye dad! Don’t worry, I’m only moving up the road to 64 Queensbury. Aunt Kathetyr and Uncle Marcos have invited me to come stay with them for a bit to get to know my cousins Neal and Florence better!
Mike: Please come visit us soon Andie, your mother and I will miss your presence dearly.
Andie: I will, love you!
Rocket boots will forever be cool. They look extra awesome with those shoes.. by the way.
Oh! She also took Smeagol with her. I thought it was neat that story progression made her move in with their extended family .
This seems like a good stopping point, but before I do I want to share one last random thing.
I gave him a fancy makeover and everything. That is.. it was my plan until I got nosy and snooped his family tree, ruining it for myself by discovering he (Shon Belle) is her second cousin once removed. SO disappointing. Finding her a suitable non-relative partner is going to be a real challenge this generation methinks.
To Be Continued!
-5 for Gurnie’s bladder
Total Points: +145
Hi wonderful readers! I am sorry it has been so long since the last update!
So my little dog Jett and I are doing great – and now that she’s a little older, I’ve been able to put in some gaming time again! Woo! So.. this is just a pre-post post about the Derps post that is going to be coming soon, once I finish the write up! Think I can say post a little more? Post-post-post! Whee!
I finally picked up Showtime, and had a happy fun go-round with that vs CC, as with all new releases and patches. It took me like 2 days before I could get things playable again.. ick. I ended up purging out a ton of CC too. Oh Sims.. you are one of the worst games to update.. but we suffer through it every time.. EVERY DAMN TIME. Lol. The funny part.. I still haven’t tried out any of the new stuff yet after all that effort to get it installed. Oh well.. all in good time!
I have a LOT of legacy reading to catch up on as well.. meep!
Hey all – I have some bad news where the Derps are concerned.. unfortunately, I will not be updating them for some time, as I have absolutely 0 time to play right now.
ALL my focus and time is going to spending time with and training my new little girl:
I apologize to all my readers out there, but my priority is to my little girl and keeping her busy, learning and happy. She’s 9 weeks old and needs me full time, I am not sure when I will be able to have time to play again in the future, so this hiatus is for an undetermined amount of time. Thank you for understanding!
Hey All! I am going to rush this chapter a little, because I am leaving town today for the weekend and I won’t have access to my PC.. 4 days without a computer.. I hope I survive.
Today our simself family spotlight will be on my own simself’s spawn. I know what you’re thinking.. “Who cares about some weird girls simself family?” and I answer this with a “No one, but we’re doing it anyway.”
I had to select my loser son Trey to get the full family to show up. At least he was finally good for something.
Trey’s two kids are Mandi and Ramon. Mandi currently resides in Forgetful Pines Nursing home where she is miserable and probably contemplating suicide when she’s not harassing the nursing staff.
Mandi: “I told you not to change the channel when I’m watching Jeopardy!”
Orderly Eduardo: “Ma’am.. we don’t even have a T.V… it was stolen last month, remember?”
Mandi: “Oh a no-good channel-changer AND a liar are ya’? This will not stand!” *Whacks with cane*
She’s a peach, that one.
Ramon somehow managed to be missed in my culling of the elderly into the home.. a mistake that will soon be rectified in my real game.
Ramon: “Hey sexy lady.. you wanna party with Rrrrr-amon? I’ve got a pocket full of viagra and I ain’t afraid to take ‘em.”
Spongey: Don’t make eye contact. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t make eye contact..
Spongey won’t party with him (thankfully), but Erika Chique-Rubble and Laurie Hitoru-Shutter sure did.. because he’s got three kids by them.
His eldest is Latisha, who is also a distant Derp relative.
I wrote this while hungry. I think it’s supposed to be a stomach troll.
Right.. so Latisha is a 6th generation Derp.
Ramon’s other two boys bring us back to the Hitoru family where Silas is now a child, and Stacey is a toddler.
Silas: “Mom wants a girl so bad, she makes me wear my hair like this.. but at least I didn’t get a girl’s name like you little brother.”
Stacey is disappointingly Lenny-like. I am annoyed that he has infiltrated my simself’s family tree and left his genetic mark. He continues to vex me from beyond the grave.
That’s it for my simself’s family in game so far. Now, to get back to Chroma and the rest of the Derps.
Chroma: “Happy birthday Prince. Sorry everyone left and missed it.."
Prince: “Aw it’s ok Gurnie, at least you were here for it!”
Chroma: “So.. look, now that you’re an adult, mom wants you to move out of the house.. I know it’s going to be difficult adjusting to the real world but..”
Prince: “Are you kidding? Honey I am SO ready to go live on my own. That old bag can kiss my sweet ass!” *Z snaps*
Chroma: “Oh.. ok. Well that’s good, I think. Oh! Just one more thing.. you have to take him with you.
Jiga-Watt: I wonder if I left the computer on..
Prince: “Aww.. MAN.” *Facepalms*
With that, the imaginary friend boys moved out..
Jiga-Watt: “I didn’t get to say goodbye to Andie.. BAWWWH!”
Chroma: “Mom.. the party is over and the boys have moved out.. let’s go.”
Gurnie: “Not now sweetie, I’m in the ZONE.”
Chroma: “Whatever.. I’m taking Andie home then, have fun.”
Gurnie: “I bet you didn’t know I had moves like this..”
Gurnie: “Or like this..”
Gurnie: “Or like..WAhH!” *Trips over her own skirt and falls to the floor*
Gurnie: Did anyone see that?
Ok.. so maybe I’m having Gurnie withdrawals a little. She’s so gosh-darn adorable though!
Congratulations on your second baby Megan!
In case you are curious, Chroma’s Lifetime Wish is to be a Visionary (Photography & Painting skills at 10)
Also, here are her very first wishes:
Drink Plasma Juice / Go Shopping
Visit Shang Simla / Visit Al Simhara
I’ve managed to avoid traveling quite a bit with the Derps, but it looks like their time has finally come. DUN DUN DUNNNNN.
With a copy of the game saved in case everything goes to total shit… we will begin our travels.. right after I get rid of those two easier wishes.
Chroma: “Ow.. I think I’m doing thith wrong..”
Dobby.. what is that thing?
Dobby: I ‘unno.
Dobby: But it’s mine. My precioussss.
Guess I should have named him Smeagol instead of his brother. I have no idea what that thing was.. it just appeared, couldn’t be interacted with, and then disappeared again. Weeeird.
Now for the shopping!
What..? I’ve never seen this option before..
Of course I had to click it.
Chroma: Yesss.. now I shall have that Ducksworth of Bathington that I always wanted! Muahaha!!
Chroma.. you’re the worst vampire. Ever.
Chroma: I know.. I blame the lack of vampiric influence during my upbringing, also, I don’t have fangs.
Chroma: Damn it.. I forgot to grab my ducky. Brb.
IT’S TRUE! Why are there no awesome fangs in your mouf?! D:<
Chroma: “Good news everyone! As you may have noticed by the theme of my new ensemble.. we’re going to China! I bought us 4 tickets so we can all vacation together while my renovations on the house are being done! Pretty fantastic right?!”
Andie: “Uh.. that’s cool I guess. Dad, are you ok with this?”
Mike: “Affirmative. Please inform Gurnie. Her systems are still down from her excessive partying at the birthday gathering.”
Chroma: “Mom, we’re going to China.”
Gurnie: “What.. why?! Are you in trouble with the law or something?”
Chroma: “No Ma.. we’re just going to vacation while the house is being redone.”
I dunno who this guy is, but he’s taking care of the critters.
After a horrible time getting Mike & Andie through airport security and customs – the family finally made it to China.
Chroma: “Well here we are, in Shang Simla! Isn’t this great? We’re going to be immersed in an ancient culture, see the sites and..”
Chroma: “Hey! Where are you all going?”
Gurnie: “Gotta go check the sink. I bet it’s leaking.”
Andie: “I’m just going to go read a book and relax in the hotel.”
Mike: “I’m going to see if the stereo speaks Chinese.”
Chroma: “Oh no you don’t Andie. You are coming with me to visit the Temple of Heaven.”
Andie: “Bah, fine.” *Fires up rocket boots*
Those jets just never gets old.
Andie: “Woa! How did you get our party bus through customs?”
Chroma: “Mind control.. I needed a way to get around during the day without the sun burning my briskets.”
Off they went into the beautiful countryside.. in their horrible American monstrosity of a vehicle. Truly, a Derp move if ever there was one.
Chroma: “Andie, come look at this amazing view! …Andie?”
Andie was still about halfway up the darn mountain at this point. Super speed definitely beats rocket boots, hands down.
Chroma: “See Andie, wasn’t this much better than sitting at the resort all day with mom and dad?”
Andie: “Yea, I guess so, except for the hiking.. and the nature.. and pretty much anything that isn’t inside.”
Chroma: “Admittedly, doing the hike in the daytime wasn’t the best idea I’ve had.. so to make it up to you, I’m going to go shopping next, and you can go back to the hotel.”
Andie: “Works for me.”
Meanwhile, back at the hotel: Mike learns how to drum. I didn’t even know we had a drum kit..
Chroma goes off to buy some souvenirs at the market.. plus she needs a camera for her lifetime wish. Win-win.
Chroma: “So.. I’d like to get some nice keepsakes to take back to America with me, do you have any suggestions?”
Shopkeep: “Ah yes, we have many rare exotic and expensive items just for you.”
Chroma: “Ooh! I like rare exotic items!”
Shopkeep: *mumbles in Chinese* “And I like your money, stupid American woman.”
She got a camera and some other overpriced crap. Afterwards I sent her back to base camp to make dinner for the family. I’ve found that I have to force feed them with the ‘call family to meal’ option if I ever want them all to interact together, even if it’s only for a minute or two.
Aww, they all use chopsticks here, I never noticed that before!
Also, for the first time in.. I don’t even know how long, Gurnie and Mike slept in the same bed together.. and awww, he’s the mouse to her computer. 😀 *Gush*
The next morning, Chroma got up early to prepare breakfast.
Chroma: “Hey! I made those for my family!”
Youssef: “If it’s on the counter it’s a free-for-all, rules is rules.”
Rainia: “Yep, house rules. Save some for me Youssef.”
Youssef: *Chokes* “Ugh.. what’s in these pancakes?”
Rainia: “Some kind of fruit.. I think.”
Yea.. Plasma fruit. Have fun with your heads in the toilet for the next two hours, freeloaders.
That afternoon, after the rest of the Derp family was also done barfing their guts out from plasma-fruit pancakes, Chroma herded them into the party bus to go see the city together.
Chroma: “Isn’t this fabulos mom? Just look at the architecture, how artistic and beautiful it is!”
Gurnie: *Yawns and stretches* “Sure honey, whatever you say.. when are we going home again?”
This is what the family chose to do instead:
Waitress: Why do these Americans take up all my table space and not buy anything! You no buy, you get out!
In the middle of the night, Chroma has a run in with one of the local men. I don’t remember his name, so we’ll call him Lu-Pang.
Chroma: “Oh hello, I didn’t know anyone else was up.. er.. what are you doing down here.. by yourself.. with a flashlight…”
Lu-Pang: “Nothing! I wasn’t doing anything at all!”
Chroma: “K.. whatever. Night.”
Lu-Pang: That was a close one.. look like no ladies panties for us tonight. It’s just you and me hand, just you and me.
The final day of the vacation was mostly uneventful. Chroma went out to take some pictures, while the family stayed in.
She did catch a cute little garter snake to take home with her. I’m sure there’s a snakes on a plane joke in there somewhere.
Before they all had to head home, Chroma wanted to talk to her mother about something that had been nagging her for some time.
Chroma: “Mom, I know you probably don’t want to talk about it.. but, I really want to know who my dad is. You’ve never even told me his name.. or anything about him. I want to know more about my vampire heritage and powers and I think it would be best if I could contact him.”
Gurnie: “Oh honey, I haven’t told you about your father because he’s a raging asshole and I didn’t want you to be disappointed by him. But.. I suppose we were going to have to talk about this soon anyway. You have a right to know about where you come from, and it isn’t something that I can guide you with.. so, when we get home, I will give you all his info. What you do with it, is up to you.”
Chroma: “Thanks mom, I love you.”
Gurnie: “I love you too sweetie. Just be careful.”
Chroma: “I will.”
So there you have it.. you can take an ISBI to China, but you can’t make them actually do much of anything.
On a side note.. the basic shape of Chroma’s house is almost done.. but finishing is going to take a while. This is where I am at currently:
Thanks for reading!
To Be Continued!